that swimsuit saved my life!!!

That swimsuit saved my life!!!
Headed to church camp the week after next. Of course, had to go and buy
the daughters new one piece, burka-style swimsuits as they are unable to
wear their sinful two piece tank-inis.

My son, on the other hand, will be free to lounge about the pool
exhibiting his torso.

I cannot imagine that one piece swimsuits are the thing that prevents
one from sexual sin or promiscuity. This did lead me to come up with an
idea for a new product line.

"Chastity Swimwear"

I'm thinking this virgin-endorsing swimwear line would have some product
testimonial akin to this:
"I thank God for Chastity Swimsuits. I was headed down the wrong path
at church camp and Chastity Swimwear helped keep me pure.
Now that I have avoided sexual sin with my brother in Christ, a fellow
hormonally charged teenager, I can hold on to my virginity and save it
until I am so desperate in my 20's that I give it up to the first
non-church jerk who pays a smidgen of attention to me."

Or something like that.

The sno-cone lady and I are developing a personal relationship, not
surprising as I often develop relationships with those in the food
service industry. One day this week, she told me I looked pretty. I
have no reason to believe she was trying to butter me up as I have been
a frequent customer even without her buttering me up.

How I spent my first day of summer vacation, sabbatical, retirement,
unemployment...
Woke up with Pastor!! Uhh, wait a minute. Woke up and Pastor was moving
through the house in a bull-in-china-closet fashion, yakking on his cell
phone. Yes, he is back and it's non stop ringy dingy of the tele.

Went to Starbucks. Went to Super Target. Applied self tanner (after
exfoliating of course) to try to un-do airbrush tanning fiasco. Hope I
didn't make it worse. Went to mall. Bought white and pink polka dot
shoes to match totally cute dress the Pastor brought me home. Thought
about working on my wedding scrapbook. Watched part of "The Aviator".
Dressed up and went out to eat yummy mexican food on a nice date with
the Pastor.

Exhausted. Think I will lay down for a bit. Oh, and I already have a
one-piece. I got it last year for my own church retreat. The retreat
got canceled. So instead I went to the Pastor's, we watched a Val
Kilmer movie and smooched.