cuckoo clocks and poolside urination

Something I did today: I went to the grocery store with three kids.
Something I will not ever do again: go to the grocery store with three
kids. It really wasn't that bad. I was very clear to the kids what I
expected of them before we went into the store.

I have not been unemployed for even one month. And today we had our
first post-Robyn- employment-budgetary-chit-chat. The Pastor was very
nice about it, but of course I took it personally, because I always take
it personally because it's always about me! My whole life has changed!
I've stopped getting weekly manicures and pedicures. Stopped going to
Starbucks (daily). Stopped getting monthly facials. I haven't been to
a movie in OVER TWO MONTHS!!! I have been repeating outfits!

When I was a kid, my chocolate lovin' friend had a swimming pool. We
were nice (non-Nazarene) girls with one-piece swimsuits. She showed me
the way of (like she was my Jedi Master or something) peeing in your
swimsuit without having to pull down and then pull back up your entire
wet swimsuit. You simply push/pull the area of your swimsuit which
covers your crotch to the side, do your stuff and then move it back.
Well now that I have two daughters who are not very skilled at
negotiating complicated one-piece swimsuits, much less complicated wet
one-piece swimsuits, I explained this special skill to them. Then later
when I was thinking about this I had to giggle at the fact that the same
person who told me about sex is also the one who showed me how to
quickly remove wet garments from my nether-region.

Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
Sometimes I want a baby. Today I went to Target. I stopped and looked
at some of the baby stuff and that helped me to feel better about not
having a baby, thinking about how much stuff you'd "need" to have a
kid. Oy! When I had my little dissolution of marriage thingy, and my
former spouse allowed me all of five minutes to clean out a house I'd
lived in for the better... errrr worse... part of a decade, I didn't get
to keep any of my baby stuff. Who wants to start from scratch with all
that stuff. Plus a huge bonus to having older children is that you
don't have to schlep anything around AND IN FACT if you need stuff
schlepped you can make them do it. Besides, like I have a handle on the
kids I have now! So I decided I don't have a biological clock, I have a
cuckoo clock.