pride goeth before destruction

I thought they were gorgeous.

Turquoise silk, trimmed with red lace. Matching bra.

And not to brag, but I've been on the Wii fit everyday and I have completed nearly two whole workouts in the Slim in 6 fitness program.

I thought I was looking pretty good.

So I pranced my fancy pants into the other room to show the Pastor.

"Those aren't my favorite" said the man who's not bought a new pair of underwear in six years.

Perhaps the Pastor should skip over to Chapter 17 of that Proverbs book. He who loves a quarrel loves sin.

Thankful for: a cupcake.
Good about me: I look pretty good for someone pushing 40 and eating cupcakes.


so glad he's home from his trip

to demonstrate the proper way I should be collapsing cardboard boxes before I put them in the trash

to show me how to properly hang up my razor

to tell me things he finds interesting at 3 a.m.

to remove the lid from my crockpot - the most heinous of all crimes in the kitchen

and my personal favorite - to interupt my workout three times to ask me where something in the fridge is, and when I say the bottom shelf he requires me to finally stop my workout completely and go into the kitchen where he has pulled everything out of a drawer and can't find the item located on the shelf

At least I'm not lonely.

Grateful for: good iron and being able to donate blood yesterday
Good about me: I like to try to cook new things


Who's the Boss?

When I think about the dream house I'd like to have someday, I'm not picky.

It doesn't have to be in a particular neighborhood or have a certain square footage. No marble floors necessary. Deep down inside I'm not a fancy person.

I just want a house that looks like nobody lives there.

When I look at a magazine, I don't salivate over the furniture or fixtures. I am envious of how perfect everything is. How there is no clutter or piles.

Is it too much to ask? Yes I realize that this would make me the creepy guy and not the Julia Roberts character in "Sleeping with the Enemy." It brings me such great feelings of joy to open up a cabinet and see like items grouped together and all the labels facing me like they are looking at me.

Sometimes I will just walk through my house and open up a cabinet or drawer just so I can admire it. Sometimes I will lay in bed sleepless, wondering if someone else emptied the dishwasher (ha!) and put the wrong utensils in the wrong drawers.

The Pastor came home from his trip and claimed to be distressed because all of his piles had been put away. He said "You are not the only person who lives here."

No, I may not be. But I'm the boss.

good thing about me: I'm really skilled at organizing.
thankful for: a date with the Pastor


if you can't take the heat stay out of the kitchen and if you make your bed you better lie in it

The Pastor will be home soon.

I'm glad he'll be back, but I'll miss the heat.

I'd rather have his warmth than a warm house.

Guess I'd better turn down the thermostat. And maybe open a door and let the cold air in so he'll think I've been thrifty? I have made some of my coffee and cooked some meals in his absence, so a little heat should be ok.

Guess I'd better make the bed too.

I hate hate hate making the bed. It's my least favorite chore. I even washed the sheets today, so I've really boxed myself into this whole making the bed thing.

Maybe he will appreciate the clean sheets more if I save the bed making to have him help?

Where's one of those kids around here when I need someone to assign a chore to?

I'm even writing this blog post to avoid making the bed.

And watching Jersey Shore. That's how much I hate making the bed.

My only incentive is that I get to crawl into it with the Pastor.

Ok, I'll do it.

Good thing about me: I washed the sheets and made the bed because I'm nice and it'll make my husband happy.
Thankful - in advance - for a good night's sleep.


Oh Yeaahh

I have been drinking the Weight Watchers kool-aid on and off for 7 years now.

I mixed up another pitcher today. It was either that or try to find a way to shut down all the Mexican restaurants. And Which Wich. Even though the new Points Plus plan seems complicated, and even though I once shut down a Burger King, I just didn't think I had that much power. Off to a meeting I went.

I exercise every day. I try to make healthy decisions when I'm not eating Mexican food and hot, customized sandwiches. I just wish the number on the scale (and my Kardashian-like physique minus the well-endowed chest) was smaller.

What can I say? Weight Watchers works for me. Strangely enough for reclusive me, it's going to the meetings. Of course if you've ever sent me an email, facebook message, text or looked at my paper calendar, you already know I'm horrible at electronic things and the on-line program would never work for me.

But I remembered today what doesn't work for me about Weight Watchers meetings. The same thing that irritates me everywhere.

Stupid people.

Obviously I am excluding myself as one of the stupid people at WW, you know, me who wisely keeps gaining and losing the same 15 pounds.

Weight Watchers is like the Internet. You know how maybe once a year some old relative finally sets up an email account and discovers the wonders of the chain email and must forward them to you? A great deal of time is spent at the meetings by people like that who have just discovered Equal or zero-calorie spray butter.

One of the questions the leader asked today was "I feel satisfied when I eat (insert food here)."

Good, new Weight Watchers were shouting out good answers like salad and chicken and Greek yogurt.

I kept my mouth shut, but all I could think about was Mexican food. C'mon people! Let's be honest. There's a reason we are here and it's not our issues with eating lettuce.

Maybe the meetings work well for me, because each week I go and I listen and sometimes it feels so torturous I think to myself if I would just stop eating tortilla chips I'd never have to come back to one of these things.

That's not likely to happen though. At least I know, worst case scenario, I can always change my last name to Kardashian and dye my hair dark.

The Pastor is on his way home from his Israeli adventure. Maybe seeing all those camels made him miss my humps and curves. I hope he likes an ample woman.

Good thing about me: Seven years later and I haven't given up. This bodes well for my relationship with the Pastor.
Grateful for: coats, gloves, scarves, heat, my tea kettle and anything warm!


the fate of the world is in the hands of one beautiful girl

I spent the day at the beach and did something my little girl self never got to do - I built a sandcastle for Barbie. Barbie's Mermaid Palace.

My Palace had a shell-lined walkway from the driveway where Barbie could park her Winnebago and purple Trans-Am. Yes, my internal Barbie is a 1970's Malibu version.

My Palace included a formal living room with a table, shell-back chairs and even a floral arrangement. There was a kitchen, a powder room, a heart-shaped pool, a hot tub, a master bedroom with plenty of closet space and a big round bed.

And let's not forget this was prime beach front property.

I stood back from my sand construction and was pleased. Then I realized that when I was building my palace I had done exactly as I wanted with absolutely no regard for Ken.

When did I start giving so much deference to Ken anyway? I suppose it was at some point in my emerging womanhood when the Barbies got packed away because some adolescent Ken didn't like girls who played with dolls and preferred someone who had the sophistication to read Nancy Drew books instead.

What options did Barbie have anyway? There was G.I. Joe. The Great American Hero! Joe was always off defending Barbie's right to have all the shoes, outfits and any career she wanted. Come to think of it, what was so great about Ken? Why was he working on his tan while Joe was fighting the enemy?

Maybe Joe was the occasional furlough visit, scratching an itch and fulfilling Barbie's patriotic duty. Bye, Joe. Go, Joe.

For a time there was some guy named Allen. Red hair and freckles. I just assumed he was Barbie's gay husband. Barbie needed someone around to appreciate all her looks and highlight her hair. That three story dream house - with elevator - wasn't going to decorate itself.

I thought maybe there was no hope for Barbie to have a fulfilling relationship. A plastic soul mate. How was I ever going to figure out my life if I couldn't make sense of Barbie's? I was about to write Ken off as just a piece of plastic. A girl's first significant formed plastic, non-vibrating.

But then I went to Target and there he was.

Sweet Talking Ken. He's on amazon.com if you want to take a look at him. He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. And heard.

You push a button. You say whatever you want. Ken records it. You push a button. Ken says your words back to you - in his voice! You can make Ken say whatever you want. Now Barbie can have it all. The dream house. The cars. The clothes. The handsome man who says the right things and can be posed any which way.

Maybe there is a happily ever after - for Barbie and for me. As for the Mermaid Palace, the tide came in.

Good thing about me: I've gained and I've lost but I've never gained more than I lost. Bonus: I did good drinking water today.
I am thankful for: the Pastor coming home soon so I can snuggle up to his warm body in bed.


now just 13 more minutes!

I'm baking.

And simultaneously eating cheese.

And I cried today. At an item I looked at on ebay.

And the Pastor is conveniently out of the country.

And I have a massive headache and I weigh about forty kabillion pounds.

You don't have to be Angela Lansbury (and I'm making dated pop culture references) to solve this mystery.

the Williams Sonoma Butter Pecan muffins will be done in 16 minutes

one good thing about me: I'm a thoughtful person.
one thing I'm thankful for: stretchy pants

14 more minutes


Mad Gab

Fun games I like to play while the Pastor is away!

Jenga - see how long I can go without emptying the trash cans

Mouse Trap - see how long I can go without taking out the trash bags

Sorry - see if I can get away with not putting gas in the car

Light Bright - see how many lights I can have on at once

Candyland - see what I can come up with for dinner

Boggle - deal with all the stuff the Pastor normally deals with

Monopoly - don't blow the budget, and don't use the credit card

Twister - sleep on the whole bed, all to myself

Don't Spill the Beans - finally! I get to have the heat on!

As fun as these and others are, I miss him. I wish he'd come home.

good about me: I got out of bed and did the Wii even though I didn't want to
thankful for: a change in plans which gives me opportunity



No Pastor.

Arty Crafty tonight.

Peacocky eyes - in keeping with my resolution that I would not be avoiding the MAC counter. Some resolutions are easier to keep than others.

Too much Asian food. Chinese food? What is Pei Wei?

One hour on the Wii fit. Re-set the snowball throwing record. Ha!

Can't wait for the Pastor to come home so I can sleep again.

Smacked myself in the chest with the Shake Weight. Why oh why in the area where I have the least padding? But on a high note, just a few days using the thing and I've already busted out a shirt sleeve seam. Coincidence? I think not!

Good thing about me: frequent bouts of healthiness
Thankful for: times when there can be peace and quiet


Robyn's Spa - open for business

While the Pastor is in Israel no doubt enjoying a Dead Sea Mud Bath he paid thousands of dollars for (actually he took a group of students on a Holy Land trip), I am at home roughing it.

In keeping with my resolutions, tonight I opened my Thursday night spa. Due to popular demand, it opened a day early. Actually, it was because I was home alone tonight and won't be tomorrow night.

At no additional out of pocket cost to the Pastor, I enjoyed the following services:
-Full body scrub
-Deep conditioning hair masque
-grape-scented paraffin wax dip
-blow out

And there was chocolate.

Now I feel very relaxed and pampered as I blog in my comfy spa socks Santa Mom gave me.

If there was ever a day to open the spa, today was it. After dealing with technological difficulties, Discover Card, missing checks and the Post Office, I needed some relaxation. Turns out credit cards and checks were missing because the Post Office decided to stockpile our mail instead of delivering it. Thanks! The good news is that Nate was glad to find out people actually cared and had not forgotten his December 20 birthday. Oh, and thanks to everyone for the Christmas cards you sent us a month ago.

Nate came home and said I smelled amazing. Said I smelled too good for a Mom.

Even though he can't smell me, I hope the Pastor appreciates my thriftiness. I bet he thinks cheap equals pretty.

Good about me today: I do smell nice!
I am thankful for: That guy who works hard and pays for my beauty indulgences.


uh oh

I don't think that was decaf.


the good the bad and the not ugly

I wish I could tell you what a great day I had and how wonderful I did on my resolutions. But it's been too many days of running the dishwasher nonstop, cooking, waiting for the washer to kick off so I can put clothes in the dryer so I can go to bed, spilling things, dropping things, misplacing things and sleep deprivation.

The Pastor left today, and Nate and I had to face dollar taco night alone. The clerk said I couldn't be his Mom and then a guy tried to slip me his phone number. The Pastor messaged me that it's good to have options, but I says my options are up. Besides, who would ever want to change their facebook status? It's all just too complicated.

I have sat down three times to write this post only to have to scurry up each time. The last reason was that I had to check in on the Wii fit. I hack forgotten to do so earlier. It said I was 28 years old which is fantastic because we all know how dead accurate that thing is, except for when it tells me I am 54.

I did exercise. I did walk at the park. I did try to figure out my iPad so I could write on it. I guess I looked halfway decent. :) I did manage some email cleaning out and some fruits and vegetables. I am thankful and hopeful tomorrow will be a better day, one without such a late start to productivity. I am grateful that just because I had an off day I will try harder.

Now I am going to try harder to sleep.


11 for 2011

I have the New Year's Resolution list of a crazy person.

That's ok. I'm fine with that. Possibly because I may in fact be a crazy person.

1. Think of one thing every day that I'm thankful for, and one thing that's good about me. Here's day one: I am thankful for my flat-top stove. I made a sheet cake with frosting poured over the top of it; it sure was handy to clean up the mess. One thing I like about myself is that I have nice fingernails. I take good care of them and I'm a decent manicurist. And since I started this post yesterday and didn't finish it until today, here's day two. I'm thankful my Mom still buys me Christmas presents. One thing I like about me is that I am generous.

2. In thinking about my resolutions it made me think about the me I used to be. The me I used to be wasn't a person who went to Starbucks every day and got mani pedis. The me I used to be pulled out all of her mani pedi supplies every Thursday night and would have a spa night while watching Friends. What happened to that poor college student? I'm reinstituting Thursday night spa nights and hopefully a little bit of the me I used to be. She was a smart girl.

3. And that leads us to all the stuff I'm not going to spend money on. No more new nail polish or lotions or potions or hair products or underwear until I use up everything I have. Starting tomorrow. Because after I started this post but before I finished it, I may have gone to the semi-annual clearance sale at Victoria's Secret. At least one meal planned per week that's based entirely on things we already have in the pantry, without having to go to the store. We have too many groceries while others go without.

Notice I'm not starting out resolving to not go to Loft or the MAC Counter. I'm not that crazy-ready-to-fail yet. Maybe later. Baby steps. : )

4. Do Yoga at least weekly. Continue exercising. I made a goal in December to check in on the Wii fit everyday I was home. With the exception of 3 days, I did. That's pretty good!

5. Read everyday. Write everyday.

6. Find a place to volunteer. My last volunteer gig has fizzled out. It's time to find something new.

7. Kiss the Pastor for an extended period of time every single day. This will be the easiest resolution to keep.

8. Make sure I'm eating at least five servings of fruits and vegetables every day before putting other junk into my body. Drink my water! Lately I've been doing a poor job of drinking enough water each day.

9. Work on one creative/artistic project every week.

10. Organize something every day. Spend at least eleven minutes daily organizing. Clean out eleven emails daily.

11. Wear different makeup, shoes, jewelry, perfume and carry a different purse every single day. No ruts. Look pretty every day.

I also wanted to resolve to stop cursing, but that wouldn't be 11 things. To say that I curse like a sailor, now that we don't ask and don't tell, could be an insult to some sailors who are more ladylike than me.

That's it. I guess it's not too ambitious. It's not like I'm trying to give up Mexican food.

Wishing all a happy 2011. The year I turn 40.

I wish I could resolve to not do that.

the spell checker on my new I-Pad keeps changing pedis to penis.