For a long time I had a picture of Prada shoes on my fridge. When I
moved, I took it down. When I flip through magazines, I dog-ear pages
to add to my fashion wish-list.
Now that I am not working I have been resisting the temptation to even
buy or flip through In Style or Vogue and tempt myself.
But those evil minions at White House Black Market sent me a catalog.
WHBM being one of about three people and/or organizations who have been
given my forwarding address. Yes, if you want to mail me shoes or
catalogs, I will provide you with the mailing address.
So the WHBM catalog arrived a week or so ago. I spotted a beautiful
black dress and stuck the pic on the fridge, you know where normal
stay-at-home mommies post their children's artwork (I figure whoever
designed those shoes at Prada or that black dress has got to be
someone's kid). So yesterday the Pastor was giving me DP (distance &
privacy) and took the kids shopping at Goodwill. When the Pastor and
the kiddos were showing me their Goodwill finds, a beautiful black and
white sack from WHBM appeared! He bought me the dress!
The Pastor had been unaware of the fact that had he used the coupon
(also in the catalog) and spent $2 more, he could have gotten $25 off.
So I returned the dress and bought it back with a lovely pair of black
wedges with a black and white flower (on clearance!), and WHBM ended up
giving me $5 back! Score!
Alas, I was the only preacher's wife at church today sporting the
backless, black halter dress and wedges that made me very tall. Oh, and
there was also the body glitter.
Another day poolside. The days are just all running together. Much
like when I used to work in an office, except now I am getting a tan.
Earlier, the kids were thinking about being ungrateful and just not
getting along, but then I reminded them about how I would be happy to
take them home and let them scrub toilets, vacuum, mop and dust and I
would go get a pedicure. Since then, they've been fine.
Yesterday, I heard younger daughter opine that I didn't play and I
didn't have fun. So a while later, I commented that I had intended to
take the kids swimming, but since I didn't play and didn't have fun, I
couldn't do that. Then after lunch, I made mention of the fact that I
wanted to pass out fudgesicles, but since I wasn't fun and didn't play,
I wouldn't do that. She finally pulled me aside to have a
conversation. She asked me if I played and had fun, how come I just
cook all the time? Uhhhh, so you can eat delicious and nutritious
Getting mail is so much fun! Chocolate-Lovin' Friend sent me a pair of
Dr. Scholl's in a blue Paul Frank "Julius" motif. You gotta love a
friendship that involves mailing shoes cross-country.
Had a nice date with the Pastor Wednesday night. It involved cute black
dress (see our pic below), Pei Wei, ice cream and smooching in the
Mustang convertible. Also, he bought me a pair of shoes: black lace
pointy toed high-heeled pumps. So the shoe collection AND suntan are
coming along nicely.
Something I did today: I went to the grocery store with three kids.
Something I will not ever do again: go to the grocery store with three
kids. It really wasn't that bad. I was very clear to the kids what I
expected of them before we went into the store.
I have not been unemployed for even one month. And today we had our
first post-Robyn- employment-budgetary-chit-chat. The Pastor was very
nice about it, but of course I took it personally, because I always take
it personally because it's always about me! My whole life has changed!
I've stopped getting weekly manicures and pedicures. Stopped going to
Starbucks (daily). Stopped getting monthly facials. I haven't been to
a movie in OVER TWO MONTHS!!! I have been repeating outfits!
When I was a kid, my chocolate lovin' friend had a swimming pool. We
were nice (non-Nazarene) girls with one-piece swimsuits. She showed me
the way of (like she was my Jedi Master or something) peeing in your
swimsuit without having to pull down and then pull back up your entire
wet swimsuit. You simply push/pull the area of your swimsuit which
covers your crotch to the side, do your stuff and then move it back.
Well now that I have two daughters who are not very skilled at
negotiating complicated one-piece swimsuits, much less complicated wet
one-piece swimsuits, I explained this special skill to them. Then later
when I was thinking about this I had to giggle at the fact that the same
person who told me about sex is also the one who showed me how to
quickly remove wet garments from my nether-region.
Sometimes I want a baby. Today I went to Target. I stopped and looked
at some of the baby stuff and that helped me to feel better about not
having a baby, thinking about how much stuff you'd "need" to have a
kid. Oy! When I had my little dissolution of marriage thingy, and my
former spouse allowed me all of five minutes to clean out a house I'd
lived in for the better... errrr worse... part of a decade, I didn't get
to keep any of my baby stuff. Who wants to start from scratch with all
that stuff. Plus a huge bonus to having older children is that you
don't have to schlep anything around AND IN FACT if you need stuff
schlepped you can make them do it. Besides, like I have a handle on the
kids I have now! So I decided I don't have a biological clock, I have a
It has dawned on me that I have changed virtually every aspect of my
life. I moved. I quit my job. I gave up my internet access. Acquired
two additional small children. Went from one large walk-in closet to 5
smaller closets. Started cooking (again). Blah blah blah.
This realization came to light when I was reviewing all the
step-parenting books I got at the library. One of the books was
referring to kids dealing with change, and it listed an activity which
was to write a list of all the stuff in their life that had NOT
changed. I think it was at that point in my reading I started thinking
about all the changes and my head started spinning. Don't ya like the
self-centered way I go to the library, check out step-parenting,
step-family books and turn it into something all about me? I guess me
being so self-focused is something we can put on the "has not changed"
I am a person who enjoys and needs a certain amount of personal space.
I don't think it was really an issue when it was just me and the Tot,
because he was just one kid (duh!) and he didn't have some sort of crazy
jealous need to constantly see what his momma was doing. But geez!
Trying to make mashed potatoes with three small children hovering around
you! What's that??? Whatcha makin'? Can I try it? Huh? Huh?
Huh????????? I start to feel claustrophobic.
The Pastor is sitting across the room with his Torah and some articles,
working. He was just thinking out-loud, exclaiming how interesting
something is. After a few mutterings of "that is so interesting!!!" and
"I never realized that!!!!!" I finally said what gives? He said it was
too complicated (translation: boring) to explain.
The Pastor and Nate-Dog had a special bonding moment today. The Pastor
gave him a Mohawk. It looks awesome. The Pastor was almost a little
too good with the hair.
We went to church tonight. At the Church of the Jumbotron which the
Pastor really does not care for. I was really dressed up. The kids...
I just let them go in the clothes they had been running around in all
day. I figured if I looked/dressed completely different than them, it
would be easier to not claim the children.
Now that I don't have a job, perhaps the Pastor wants me to open a
We have a sno-cone maker. It's a good one. Not at all like the Snoopy
Sno-Cone Machine. And it's easy to use. You drop the ice in, push a
button and that's it. We didn't have any syrup though. Not after the
Pastor and the kids used up all of my Starbucks vanilla syrup. So the
Pastor went to the store to buy syrup. He comes home and says there was
a problem. They had nine different flavors of syrup. He bought eight
of them. I asked him what flavor did you not buy??? Lime. And today
was L day! I would have liked lime, but oh well, I still have eight
other flavors. Except I won't do root beer.
I did do laundry and go to the library today. Just like I said I
would. Checked out step-family and step-parenting books, and one slow
Today is our three month wedding anniversary. The gift at the three
month mark is son-cone syrup. Did you know that? Anyways, the Pastor
seems to be a fairly simple creature as far as the male species goes.
If all I have to do to keep him happy is make meatloaf, smooch on his
sexy bald head and trounce around the house all pretty-like, we are
going to get along just fine.
I am going to admit something. I am a giant control freak. And I have
come to realize I am a control freak about some of the silliest, most
insignificant stupid things. Like tonight at dinner. We have these
trays that are like school lunch trays, with compartments. I set the
table with those. The Pastor was being helpful and putting mashed
potatoes on the trays. I watched him and thought oh my gosh... I cannot
believe he is putting the mashed potatoes in THAT compartment. That is
NOT the compartment I was going to use! Then it got worse. He was
putting the potatoes in different compartments on the different trays.
Meaning not everyone's mashed potatoes were in the same compartment. All
the trays were different and chaotic! At least I managed to keep my
Where am I going to put nine bottles of son-cone syrup?
Usually the Pastor just thumps his bible around and casts out demons,
spreads the fear of the Lord, etc. etc. Usually.
Not today though. We had invited a couple to our home for dinner.
Why? One can only assume to convince them to remain childless forever.
Anyway, it's t minus 1 hour til our guests arrive. It is at this moment
our dishwasher decides not to drain. So I am putting the final touches
on our meal and the Pastor is dragging in a shop vac to pump out the
dishwasher. When he is doing this, his shorts catch on to one of our
kitchen cabinet doors, and he rips the door apart. Then when he is
walking through the house he knocks over a box fan, causing it to cease
working. At that point I told him to sit on the couch and to NOT TOUCH
I had a good day. It was a day of beauty involving, amongst other
things, hair color and having hairs ripped off skin with molten wax.
But remember, it's not how it feels, but how it will look that really
The Pastor just asked me what I am doing tomorrow. I told him it is L
day. Laundry. And some other L word which seemed terribly important
but now I cannot remember. Oh, now I remember. The Library. I guess
now you can see why my mushy brain might need to go check out some
books. I intend to go check out every book they have about
step-parenting and parenting. If I take the kids to the library and
just stand around, I'm sure after a few minutes the librarians will just
start bringing the books to me, unsolicited.
I kept discussing my planned L day with the Pastor. I added "lovin" to
the list. He added leisure and lazy.
Speaking of unsolicited advice, yesterday the whole family went to work
at the food pantry. I was standing outside conversing with some ladies
waiting on their food. Chocolate daughter came out to hang with me and
the ladies began to give me unsolicited advice on how to fix her hair.
I can barely take care of my own hair.
I worked on the Pastor's office computer last night, hence the pictures
I was finally able to post. Since I left work a month ago, I've not had
internet access except on my phone, which is nice but really not quite
the same. I told the Pastor we've got to do something soon with
internet access because with no internet, no computer, no newspaper, no
magazines and no t.v. I am starting to feel like an Amish person! I
don't even know if Britney Spears has had her baby!
Lights out. Lullaby. Late night. Lay down. There's some more l's for
you. I'm going to bed.