how to make coffee in 26 easy steps

1. Wake up. Where am I? Oh, I'm at home.

2. Think about going to Starbucks. No! How long has it been since I've had coffee at home? When was the last time I was at home???

3. No milk. After all, I haven't been at home. Throw on Victoria's Secret PINK hoodie, jeans and flip-flops.

4. Drive to store, secretly praying no one will see me in hoodie, jeans, bed head and last night's eye makeup. All the while, texting BFF.

5. Oh look - Easter candy 75% off! Limited edition!!! Mountain Dew for the Pastor!

6. Now what did I come to the store for?

7. Oh yes, milk! Get milk.

8. Those Easter Nerds Ropes were only 12 cents? They are practically giving them to me! Should I buy more?

9. Drive home.

10. Put coffee and water in coffee machine.

11. Wait, my steamer isn't working. How am I supposed to steam the milk?

12. Maybe the steamer is clogged. Get out vinegar to un-clog steaming apparatus.

13. Nope, doesn't work.

14. Spill vinegar all over the place.

15. Clean up. Vinegar smell reminds me I didn't dye Easter eggs with the kids. Feel guilty.

16. Take deep breath.

17. Its okay. I have a back-up coffee machine. Get out back-up coffee machine and its 82-page instruction booklet.

18. Think about waking up 12-year old to help decipher instruction booklet.

19. Pour water into machine.

20. Water immediately comes out of bottom of machine, all over freshly-clean-from-vinegar-spill counter.

21. Realize that is why I was able to purchase coffee machine #2 at such a fantastic price.

22. Clean up apocalypse from coffee maker #2.

23. Get in shower.

24. Get dressed.

25. Blog about coffee disaster.

26. Go to Starbucks.



The Pastor and I slept here last night:


There were fresh cookies! And stuffed french toast this morning!

Does anyone have

a "Buber for Dummies" book?

Maybe the Pastor should write one.

I am, for what must be the millionth time, listening to the Pastor teach on Martin Buber.

I still don't get the "I-Thou" stuff.


playing catch

I can't explain why this is so funny to me. Actually, I can. I just can't tell you.

I must merely record the following quote from the Pastor for posterity:

"You do your thing, and I'll do mine, and when I'm ready I'll catch up with you."

That one sentence manages to perfectly sum up the past four years.

p.s. Pastor, thanks for proposing three years ago today!


places I've been in the past week

1. home
2. Phoenix, Arizona
3. Los Angeles, California
4. Beverly Hills, California
5. Santa Monica, California
6. Malibu, California
7. Hermosa Beach, California
8. Long Beach, California
9. Redondo Beach, California
10. Venice Beach, California
11. Indianapolis, Indiana
12. Kansas City, Kansas
13. home again, for about 5 seconds
14. Dallas, Texas

Will be home again today. Phew. Looking forward to spending a few days with a BFF!!!! : ) and then off to Tulsa, Oklahoma next weekend.

Princess of the White Castle

My fantastical imagination has been at work again.

The Pastor and I got re-routed home from Los Angeles, and ended up in Indianapolis.

Naturally, my first thought - this will be a bonus night with the Pastor in a hotel room in what must no doubt be the most romantic city on the planet!

I'd never been to Indianapolis before.

I started envisioning the Pastor and I - in a cold city, finding a way to stay warm together. Since we had no clothes but the shorts on our backs from our Cali trip (we left behind all our other clothes to donate) we would have to just hole up in our romantic hotel room, furnished to us by Southwest Airlines.

Reality. If we're in a city, we're going to go see it. Taxi cab downtown. I did find some jeans, so I didn't have to brave 34 degree weather in my madras. The nice romantic dinner? White Castle. We'd never been to one before.

The Pastor did say to me, over a bag of Sliders, that I was the prettiest girl at White Castle. I was also the only girl at White Castle, but I guess I'll take what I can get.


just like Malibu Barbie

How I was just like Malibu Barbie today -

Malibu Barbie would have been a do-gooder and would have made meals for terminally ill people with HIV & AIDS. She would have even worn a hair net (she probably has her own pink one.)

Malibu Barbie would have gone through the drive-thru of In-n-Out Burger. However, she would have been in a convertible and not a 15-passenger church van.

Malibu Barbie would have gone to Malibu Beach. She probably would have gotten to wash her hair afterwards though.

I'm too tired and lack the computer time to compare the Pastor to Malibu Ken.



Sigh. I'm at the beach. Again.

I know. Its a rough life. Somebody had to do it. You are welcome.

Redondo Beach and Venice Beach this week.

Granted, in order to get to the beach, I've had to come on this mission trip, sort through rotting, expired food donations, buy a homeless man new underwear, only shower every other day for 5 minutes, sleep in a Pastor-less bunk bed and (once again) embrace the smell of public urination, but I'm at the beach!

And any day at the beach is better than just about any day anywhere else.


thank you Easter Bunny

my idea of an Easter Basket

my idea of good Easter Basket filler

I don't do marshmallow peeps or those nasty candy hiding eggs. Ick. And absolutely, positively nothing hollow.


spring cleaning

I've been having a major "trash attack" at my house.

I have a very large pile of assorted junk, getting ready to take it to Goodwill.

Silly me. I didn't get rid of the pile fast enough. Silly me. I thought I'd keep adding to it. Silly me. I thought if we've not used an item since we moved into this Parsonage 15 months ago, then we probably don't need it.

Now the Pastor has picked through the pile. As soon as I saw him start to pick I knew what was going to happen.

I knew he would start waxing sentimental about those pots. Those two sauce pans. About how his parents bought those for him and that's what he cooked his food in blah blah blah. The two pots that aren't non stick and are old and ugly and have been sitting unused and taking up space in MY kitchen cabinets. Those two pots that we could give away and some homeless person could use.

I thought he wanted to be a minimalist! I thought he liked the idea of things being clean and organized - at least in theory. In practice, he's the tasmanian devil in this house - leaving pants and Birkenstocks and receipts and I Pods and reading glasses and palm pilots in his wake. Then when he next needs said pants and Birkenstocks and receipts and I Pods and reading glasses and palm pilots, naturally I have "hidden" it from him by putting it away. How dare I!

If he wants to journey down memory lane, maybe he should reflect on how he never has to cook for himself anymore. How he never has to eat Sloppy Joes or spaghetti anymore.

i think he'd rather have me than the two WearEver pots. After all, it was Flower Friday yesterday (flowers for me!) and I did get breakfast in bed this morning (a VENTI non-fat sugar-free vanilla Caramel Macchiato. I never buy myself a Venti, except on my birthday). But just in case, I guess I'd better put those pans back in the cabinet. Until next time. Or, until next week. When he goes out of town.


so much fondue

I ate the whole thing. Plus some of the Pastor's.

celebrating Leap Year

Why not? It only happens every four years!