Can't believe

I forgot to post this picture.

I love this silk dress from several weeks ago. International Concepts. And the best part? I paid $9.99.

I found this pic in my e-mail! I'm finally cleaning out my e-mail.

This means if you've sent me an email in the past couple of months, I'm finally on top of it!


Mazel Tov!

What does one wear to a Complete the Torah celebration?

I wore my Nine West blue floral peasant dress.

he didn't drop it

The Pastor claims he went to witness an historical event.

I know better. The guy will do anything for a free t-shirt and free Kosher Chinese buffet.

worst case scenario

Yesterday, while you were watching Nascar or taking a nap, I was hangin' with the Jews.

We attended the "Completing the Torah Celebration."

This guy in the pic was flown in from Israel to complete the Torah. To finish writing the Torah in Hebrew on a giant roll of paper. To finish writing it with people looking right over his shoulder. Sometimes, with a camera hovering right over his shoulder. Oh, and if even one letter is missing, the whole thing is garbage.

me: What if makes a mistake?

Pastor: He won't.

me: But what if he does?

Pastor: He won't.

me: But he's a human. What if he screws up?

Pastor: He won't.

me: But what if he sneezes, and it jerks his hand?

Pastor: He won't.

me: But what if he smears?

Pastor: He won't.

me: Why are they waiting for the ink to dry? Why don't they just get a hairdryer?

Pastor: (giving me a dirty look and ignoring me.)

me: What if they drop it?

Pastor: They won't drop it.

me: What if they tear it?

Pastor: They won't.


I don't care what he says. I bet there's a "Completing the Torah: Worst Case Scenario Guide."

If not, I'm writing it.


seize the outfit

I keep them hidden in my bedroom.

No one knows where they are but me. When I'm all alone, I pull them out from underneath the mattresses and lust over the dog-eared slick pages. Completely buying into the fantasy. If anyone should barge in on my private time, I quickly hide the evidence.

Its the J. Crew Fall Look Book and catalog.

When flipping through Vogue or In Style, I'll become captivated with a certain look. A hairstyle. Certain make-up. Fold down the corners of pages. Hang ripped out pages on my bathroom mirror or fridge. And I follow through. I don't turn down a corner and never look back. Sadly, this is one area of my life where I don't drop the ball. Returning library books on time? No thanks. Booking a hotel room for a trip? Nope. Having the exact same make-up as Sarah Jessica Parker on the cover of Glamour? That becomes my life's mission. Last month, when Kate Moss was on the cover of Vogue I completely replicated her make-up. Easy-peasy. She wears Rimmel cosmetics and that's about the cheapest make-up on the planet.

But I cannot recall ever being so captivated by anything as I've been with J. Crew's catalog and the "5 Days in Prague" theme. I want to walk the cobbled streets of Prague wearing rhubarb cords and the Lydia bright saffron blouse and burnt sienna heels. (That would tick the Pastor off because at some point in our Prague story we'd be running to catch a train and there I'd be in heels). (He'd leave me there.) (A backpack and sleeping in a hostel matches none of these outfits.) But still, I long to hug a lamppost in the street while wearing the Velvet Ecole Jacket and matchstick jeans. I've been to this part of the world before with the Pastor, and believe me, it wasn't a fantasyland where I look adorable. It involved some sort of cheap synthetic fabric I could wash out in the sink of a train station, dirty hair and no makeup.

In part my fascination is because gray has long been my favorite color. I love love love love love gray. Now I have these lovely catalogs filled with not only gray, but pairing it with something I can only refer to as "baby poo yellow." I suppose since I love it so much I should find something else to call it besides "baby poo." J. Crew calls it "Golden Yellow Maple."

And are these even good colors for the fair and blonde? Gray and baby poo? This color palette sounds like something you'd be more likely to find in a woman's prison than a preppy store.

Its not so much having the particular J. Crew pieces as it is emulating the overall look. I'm fine to have a J. Crew piece here and there (bought on clearance and using my student i.d. for an additional 15% discount - yet another reason I love J. Crew). I picked up a baby poo bag at T J Maxx that fits in. A pair of super marked down $7 "burnt sienna" patent heels at Ross. Ballet flats from Goodwill.

I must admit, I've volunteered at the Church of the Poor and Homeless three times this week and I felt a wee bit guilty, at least 15% guilty, that I looked like a J. Crew model (well, an older, fatter J. Crew model) when most of the people there hadn't even gotten to shower. In a long time. I was a shameless shirt repeater and wore my "Seize the Day" shirt. One of the homeless men was talking to me about my shirt and said I should get one that said "Seize the Moment." Hmmm, it would be a lot less work.

Anyway, I know this is true love. I've never felt this way before. Its really going to last this time.

Until the Winter catalog comes out.

I'll move on. Its not completely vapid and meaningless. In a few months, expect some very stylish homeless people.


double dip

see how teeny I am

Its partially an optical illusion because the sundaes are so big

dont worry, I didn't eat it all

the devil doesn't scare me

but the nutrition facts would

for this I paid an admission?

the goats wouldn't even look at me

my heels did not impress them

never ever ever

let a man so susceptible to informercials and commercials roam free at the State Fair

he will buy gadgets

but look at how happy he is

You know why he's happy?

He didn't wear heels to the State Fair and he won't have to exercise for two hours tomorrow to make up for all the junk he ate.

in my defense

the tights looked perfectly respectable and in style with the outfit as a whole

but I must admit, sitting on a bale of hay, this is pretty interesting State Fair attire

I'm pretty sure I was the only person at the State Fair with heels on.

the great state fair

No redneck costumes this year. We just went as ourselves. Whatever that is.


the way I see it

the cup says:

The Way I See It #275

When I wake up in the morning,

I want to know that my family,

friends and fans know what I

believe in and what I'm all about.

That's what should be important.


If I made a cup, it would say:

The Way I See It

When I wake up in the morning,

I don't know my name, my family,

friends, what I believe in

and what I'm all about.

That's why coffee is important.


I don't really care about the cup. I just wanted you to see my dark and lovely nail polish. OPI "You don't know Jacques" from the Paris collection. You and I both know the nail polish color name is as important as the nail polish itself.

Italian Wedding Cake

This dessert really looks like a hot mess. This isn't what I wish I had a picture of. Better pictures to have would include:

1. Picture of the look I must have given the Pastor when he told the waitress we wanted the check and didn't want dessert. Of course the waitress raced off before he could rectify the situation.

2. Picture of the Pastor running across the restaurant after I gave him the look to retrieve the waitress and a dessert.


Ghirardelli brownies I made.

Best brownies ever.

shoes so fantastic they got their own email

These are my Monday shoes.

This is the email they got:

"Those shoes you had on today were great! You are ALWAYS so stylish!"

blue Monday

I was almost a respectable Pastor's wife. Except for my nearly black nail polish and my showing shoulders. So close.


The Pastor preached on Cain & Abel. Fratricide. Blah blah blah. You know the story. What you don't know is what I wore. BCBG kimono dress. And these fabulous silver snake-y sandals. And my white and black pearls. Red patent Coach for a pop of color which was my "get well soon" present from the Pastor.

Perhaps a bit over the top for the Church of the Homeless and Addicted, but my Grandma would have been proud.

my American Idol

David Cook posing for me.

Only for me.

American Idol concert

The illuminated being is either Jason Castro or Jesus Christ. I'm not sure.

its times like this

When I can actually think a teeny tiny part of him looks like me. Unfortunately, it's only the part holding the dessert plate.

my little baby

American Idol concert night.

He claimed it was "the best night of his life."

yet another J Crew shirt

American Idol pre-concert eats at The Melting Pot.


saith the Pastor

"I don't understand why you are huffy with me just because I was unkind to you today."

Go figure.

Then he probably will also not understand that Discover card transaction at J Crew.

His Ph.D. wasn't in women's studies.


Exodus 9

In bed.

Apparently, I am competing with Exodus 9 tonight.

Guess I should look that one up. Must be one heck of a Biblical Text chapter.