Attention shoppers! We have a blue light special on aisle five!

Still in Bismarck, North Dakota. It is North Dakota, right? I keep
getting my Dakotas mixed up. Anyway, still in a Dakota.

It took me exactly four days.
Until I lost all track of what day of the week and what time it is. If
it wasn't for the 4th of July holiday, wouldn't know what date it is
either. Finally bought a watch so I'd know what time it is, so if I
told the Pastor I'd be someplace at a certain time I'd make it there
within a half hour or so of whatever time I'd told him. Cell phone
coverage is sketchy, so I may or may not be carrying my cell phone which
is how I normally ignore what time it is. Plus my cell phone keeps
erasing my hotel room key.

Also took me four days before I burst into tears so the Pastor asked me
if it was time for my period (there's never a good time to ask that
question and NO it is not time and it is possible to have a crying jag
which is not hormonally related). He also asked me if I wanted to crash
our method of transportation (church van) into a brick wall. I told him
no, because then I would be unable to get home.

He also asked me if I wanted to go back to work already and I said sniff
sniff YES sniff sniff. I am mourning the loss of being independent
career lady and fear I am going to turn into person who only says "chew
with your mouth shut" or "don't talk with your mouth full" or "the
proper response is yes ma'am" or leave your sister cousin friend pet
sheep alien flower arrangement toenail blah blah blah alone already!!!!
One of those people who is incapable of having an adult conversation.
The type of person incapable of having adult conversation. See, look at
myself repeating!!! I am already losing ability to communicate
coherently. I'm sure the kids would be much happier if I would just
leave them alone and not nag them to death.

So the Pastor felt sorry for me and took me to Starbucks (venti!). Then
in a moment of.... well I don't know what to call it so let's just call
it a moment, I went shopping at K Mart and Sears of all places! I
didn't know Sears had things besides tools. Oh, and there may have also
been some chocolate involved.

The GOOD news is that we are on a trip and I am not at home immediately
after quitting. If I had been at home I may have gone to the office and
begged or groveled or something. And why do I care? So now I have
three kids who won't listen to me instead of 20+ employees. I truly am
on va-ca.

And the other good news is that I am with a really sweet Pastor who puts
up with tearful outbursts and shopping trips at stores with
unbelievably ugly garments.