purple dishwasher monkey

to-do list before the Pastor comes home
1. must clean entire house
2. manicure
3. pedicure
4. flat iron hair
5. pick out the pick-up-the-Pastor-at-the-airport outfit
6. get rid of any small dogs, wine bottles, empty Starbucks cups, incriminating receipts... just kidding
7. tan
8. get skin to clear up
9. lose 20 pounds
10. mow yard... Right! I've never mowed a yard in my life. Like I'm going to start now!
11. finish packing for me, three kids and Pastor to go on two week vacation... geez we are going to need a semi for all the stuff we'll be schlepping cross-country

I LOVE to go to the airport. And I never just do a drive-by pick-up. I go inside. It's way more fun and dramatic to be there right as soon as someone gets off the plane. I also think it is completely entertaining to watch people at the airport. Better than cable t.v.! It's funny to observe "traveler stress" when you are not the one experiencing it! When I picked up the Pastor up at the airport on Christmas, I got to see an entire family sporting matching very ugly sweaters.

I was going to have a lovely meal prepared for the Pastor but he told me not to because he doesn't know if he'll be hungry. So I'm off the hook. He might be experiencing mexican food withdrawals, as he has spent 6 weeks of the summer in places with no mexican food. Can you believe people live where there are no mexican restaurants?

The other day Nathan told me I needed to eat, or it meant that I was anorexic. So I ate. Then later that same evening, he was explaining to me how my bottom was just a little bit fatter than the rest of my body. Thanks kid, now you know why I wasn't eating! ! !

It's probably pay-back. In the past week I've talked to the kid about sex, and explained to him what he should do if he ever gets lost in the woods (Boy Scout news story) or locked in a trunk (kids playing in trunk news story). Nothing like being a worst-case-scenario-Mom. I can't help it! I think it's way scarrier now than when he was little. When he was little, I could just watch him like a hawk. Now that he's bigger and independent, he has to be responsible for his own safety to a certain extent and that scares me. I'm trying to instill in him that if something does happen, he is a smart kid and the most important thing he can do is remain calm and use his head. And the second most important thing he can do is to never, ever ever tell a woman she has any fat on any part of her body.