happy father's day, Pastor

Since this is cheaper than a card, things I love about the Pastor:

-All the bargains he finds at Goodwill.
-The way he pretends to not know where anything is, so he can make me feel needed when I have to find stuff for him.
-When he acts all mad when I use the charge card at some store at the mall. I know deep down inside how much he loves it when I look cute, wear all that makeup and smell good.
-The way he is so helpful - like on vacation, when he decided to wash a whole bunch of clothes even though we didn't need any clean clothes, and then the way he offered to help carry around the big, wet pile of clothes in his backpack.
-How he doesn't tell me my bottom is really big and fat, even though I secretly know it is.
-The loving way he works me into his sermons, disguising my identity as a clueless student or some otherwise stupid Christian.
-When he gets up, goes to Starbucks for me and brings me my coffee in bed.
-The way he gets up in the morning and creeps through the house so quietly AND NEVER TURNS ON LIGHTS because he doesn't want to wake his Sleeping Beauty. He is also so quiet and courteous when he has stayed up til 2, 3 or 4 in the morning working. He always waits til I wake up the next day to be chatty.
-How he shrugs off my library fines with an "Oh well, at least she doesn't buy books anymore!"
-The way he finds all the garbage I leave in the cars as endearing reminders of my presence.
-The way he snuggles up next to my 110 degree body, saying "I don't care how hot you are, I just want to be close to you!"
-How when we go to "On the Border" he joyfully exclaims "On the Border! I love On the Border! You just can't eat there enough!" And "since we're here, allow me to buy you a diet coke for $1.50!"
-The way he still loves me, even when I blog stuff about him which is completely fabricated.

But this one is not made up. When in doubt, stop agonizing. Just buy BOTH dresses. Everything is returnable.

Everything IS returnable. But me. And the kids. Thanks for putting up with us and only being a martyr about it 50% of the time.


No comments: