Happy Mother's Day! Lock up the jewelry and melt some cheese! Alternate title: Can-Can for Christ!

Oh, what a week.

As if it wasn't bad enough to be old and fat after my birthday, then I got sick.

But that's just me. Here's all the other fun stuff that happened!

The week started off with just a whiff of possible legal action because me and the Pastor - brace yourself - MAKE CHILDREN DO STUFF THAT ANY NORMAL CHILDREN/PEOPLE SHOULD DO. OK, I'm calm now.

Unfortunately, after this week, it's easy to not judge Alec Baldwin. No, not ok to do that to a kid, but we can relate to his frustration. Sharing custody of kids is not fun for anybody. Add some lying and manipulation and a bunch of other messed-up stuff, and it really sucks.

There was this little scenario:

child, to Pastor: Dad, I want to call my other parent and tell my other parent the day care will be closed next week.

Pastor, to child: No, it is not your responsibility to do that. That is a grown-up job. The day care will let your other parent know, and I will also send an e-mail.

So the next day child goes to school the next day and asks to use the telephone in the office to call other parent. One, to let other parent know day care is going to be closed next week, oh and by the way since I've got you on the phone, could you come up to school and see me?

Then other parent goes to the school, and child has meltdown. Child feels need to tearfully communicate to other parent how UNFAIR things are at our house. The child who got to go to Build-a-$50-freakin'-Bear four days prior. The child who is wearing on her body clothes I purchased for her on a special shopping trip. The child who would NEVER have known the glory of Starbucks if not for me. The child I made-up cosmetically for her Dansical this week (more to come on that). I could go on and on, but you get the point.

Yes, my dear, things are completely unfair. Because at our house we spend so much time being the parents who take you to the eye doctor and the ear doctor and the orthodontist and the dentist to get your glasses and take care of your ear infection and try to get you braces and see that you have healthy teeth, we tend to be a wee bit busy. By the way, we've had to take kids to all those appointmets just in the last two weeks we've had them. Not to mention all the dress rehearsals, etc. we had for the Dansical.

Then as a grand finale of the week, the children left Friday and coincidentally, magically, mysteriously one of my necklaces disappared. Am I to live in a home where I have to lock up my jewelry, just to be safe? It's bad all around. I either live in a home where your first inclination is to think a child steals, or I actually live in a home where a small child steals. Either way, it's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.

But there's a bright golden haze on the meadow! The kids performed in "Oklahoma!" the Dansical this week. At the church where they attend dance, I learned the church has a mission field - DANCE! The church performs so that secular dancers can see how dance can be performed for the glory of God! This statement was particularly interesting to me as one of the dances was a Can-Can number complete with Saloon Girls. Hey, who DOESN'T love a good Can-Can? I'm sure even God herself would appreciate that. That made me want to work on my mission. I decided my mission can be to show all the secular shoppers that shopping can be done for the glory of God - I need to look pretty for church, right?

Now on Mother's Day, after all of the unappreciated mothering I did this week, I sit here child-less as all the children are with their other parent's. You know, their NICE parents. This week was so bad, I didn't even have the energy to celebrate as I did last year - by heading with the girl's to the Mexican restaurant to celebrate "I am NACHO Mother Night," complete with a big plate of gooey cheese and tortilla chips.

Crappy Mother's Day!