too much skin, bossy beyond belief and how could you download songs on an I-Pod???

Pop Quiz

My precious husband sent his mother some recent pics of us. Quote from my mother-in-law: "Robyn looks nice. It's nice to see her not showing so much skin. After all, you are a Pastor!"
a. We'll be crossing her off the list of people who will be receiving copies of my boudior prints. We thought those would be nice to tuck into our Christmas cards, you know - instead of the dreaded Christmas letter.
b. Thank goodness she doesn't know about all of our nudist activities (now you know what we're really doing on all those "spiritual retreats"!).
c. Guess I know what the in-laws will be sending me for Christmas/Birthday. Appropriate Nazarene pastor wife-ish clothes. Something from the Missionary line at Sears? Maybe a one-piece swimsuit?
d. Showing so much skin? How much skin do I have to show? Am I getting horribly fat?
e. Thank goodness they don't know about all of the tattoos and piercings!!!

My husband, continuing along the lines of repeating things to me he really shouldn't, tells me that younger daughter said "Robyn is bossy!!!"
a. What? How could she say that to me after I bought her those boots snuck her chocolate covered raisins took her swimming bought her a stinkin' cute dress took her to get frappucinos even though I am not even drinking coffee???!!!???
b. Yeah, well so what! Someone's gotta be bossy!
c. What? How could she say that?
d. I DO have a "bossy beyond belief" shirt. OK, the Pastor actually decided that t-shirt should be my official uniform and bought me TWO of them.

My husband tells me that my mother-in-law thinks I show too much skin and younger daughter thinks I'm bossy and and and and continues to repeat things to me he really shouldn't.
a. Gee Robyn, why is it that you cry every single day?
b. Now that I'm not working, he's just giving me things to blog about.
c. When he comes to me and says "hey, you wanna hear something?", I should just say no.
d. Since I am so bossy, I make him tell me the stories.
e. He should just tell me that I am getting horribly fat too.

The children, ungrateful little things:
a. Total freak out and dramafest2005 when a certain gifted-n-talented child realizes you had 2,500 songs loaded on their I-Pod for them. How could you load songs on my I-Pod? I was perfectly content with the 59 songs I had on there! How could you? Really, how could you? Even though I really have no other way to download songs to my I-Pod. You are the worst mommy in the whole wide world! Thinking I would actually want songs on my I-Pod!
b. Seriously considering my mother's suggestion that I return all the kids I have and start over with new ones.
c. See above, younger daughter thinks I'm bossy no matter what I do. No more chocolate covered raisins for her!

I want Sarah Jessica Parker's new perfume, and I don't even know what it smells like.
a. Since I have not had coffee in ten days, I'm looking for something new to fixate on.
b. I figure it can't be worse than Britney Spears', and I've been wearing that hussey-like fragrance for months. (Must go back up to stuff above about mother-in-law and add "thank goodness she doesn't know that not only do I look like a hussey in the pictures, I smell like one too.)
c. I better make sure the Pastor understands that I want Sarah Jessica Parker's perfume. Not Camilla Parker Bowles.

My son, the honor's student, parts II and III and IV.
Part II
I picked him up from school. He has his "standardized test results". The kid is off the charts. Advanced in math of all things. He didn't get that from me. So I pick him up from school, drive him to the house to grab a change of clothes because he's spending the night at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Drive directly over to Grandma and Grandpa's house. Do you know what my little genius says to me? "Mom, have I had dinner yet?"

Part III
I drive him to school. It's early, because he has to get there for cello practice. Sweetie, you have just a few minutes, so you need to get in there and get set up. OK Mommy - Bye! So GNT (gifted-n-talented) gets out of the car and starts to walk in to school. I honk my horn. He turns back around, puzzled. I mouth "YOUR CELLO". Huh? Finally, he gets what I am saying and comes and gets his cello.

Part IV
Mommy, are we going to that potato thing? What potato thing? You know that church service? Oh, you mean Kaleo. The kid may be in the honor's program, but they aren't teaching him Greek.

And how dare I load songs on his I-Pod.