clean, green, serene, pristine, routine and Nazarene

and the award goes to...
Me! For the world's longest mood swing. For the worst documented case
of pms.

The Pastor claims I was challenging to put up with for about 16 days.
But hey, he is a man of the cloth, so he can totally provide prayer,
peace and serenity during a small bout of insanity. The Pastor was
really sweet about it. He didn't say too much, but when I saw him
filling out that application to the Guiness Book of World Records for
the most hormonally inbalanced wife, I thought I'd better change my
attitude.

Without fault, younger daughter has woken up every single morning before
6:30. I know this for a fact because she believes once she is awake
everyone else should be too. As someone who trained her child to leave
her alone in the mornings, I have had very un-Christian like feelings
when younger daughter has been up at daybreak singing and clapping.
Knock knock knock on our door. Can I put on your green eyeshadow play
with this watch a movie put on this shirt have a granola bar? Huh huh
huh????? Of course you can have a granola bar! You never have to ask me
if you can have a granola bar! Come and wake me up when you're thinking
about doing something really bad like smoking crack or wearing a
two-piece swimsuit.

I had a point. Today was the first day of school, and now that we need
to get into a routine, did younger daughter wake up??? Nooooooooo! How
IS that possible?

I must say I am now completely elated at the concept of children going
back to school. At first I wasn't. I had felt panicky. Much like
right after I had Nate and I realized I was going to be at home alone
with an almost premature and slightly jaundiced infant, I'd never
changed a poopy diaper, my boobs were full of milk and my body was full
of post-partum hormones. Oh and I was stranded at home because there
was ice and snow on the ground. I started to feel like that again when I
was thinking about the kids and the Pastor starting the school year.
But just literally in the last few days I have become excited about
having the time and the opportunity to do things while kiddos are in
school.

My mom is in the hospital. I was sad to learn that when she gets out I
won't be getting a new little brother or sister, but she did get a jazzy
new knee so good for her. Nathan asked if the knee had come from a dead
person who had donated their organs. Uhhhhhh, nope.

The Pastor got a clergy collar shirt (see photo below). I already got
into trouble over it because he needed to wear his shirt to make a
jailhouse visit, and I had thrown away the white plastic piece that is
actually the collar. How was I to know? I was trying to be Tidy-Up
Barbie and the thing looked like a piece of trash to me. So we had to
go buy a pack of replacement collars right away. Again, how was I to
know? Its not like I've ever had these things laying around before.
Normal husbands would be upset over the sports page getting tossed
before they've had a chance to read it, or a wife misplacing a sleeve of
golf balls or something. But clergy collars?

But these things don't make sense to me. Kind of like when I first
started dating the Pastor and he lost his "Preaching Bible". He went on
and on about this bible and I just envisioned a dog-eared, marked-up
thing. When we finally found it, I could not believe that the Preaching
Bible was in fact pristine and without a mark in it.

Anywho, the Pastor said if he had to give away all of his clothes but
one thing he would keep the cleric collar shirt. Naturally, this
decision for me would be akin to "Sophie's Choice". The Pastor would
probably vote for me to keep the "Bossy Beyond Belief" shirt he just
bought me.

The Pastor is a complete shop-a-holic when it comes to Goodwill. Today
I threatened to take away his 10% off preferred shopper discount card
(true story). Granted, it is one of his only vices besides Mountain Dew
and since he is so handsome I will let him get away with a lot, but I am
trying to figure out what to do with some of the clothes and shoes he
has bought the girls. I guess the good news is that when we go on a
mission trip in December we will have plenty of clothing to take with us
to leave behind.

I will be spending considerable time over the next few days getting the
Parsonage all spruced up for a bunch of Nazarenes who will be invading
our house this Sunday. Because there's no way we can properly reflect
the Kingdom of God with a messy house, right? I should probably get a
new outfit too.

Maybe that award should be for the most random blog entry ever.