the other white meat

I made Pork Chops in the crock pot yesterday. Completely amazing that you throw all that stuff in the crock pot, and out comes a meal. Probably one of the greatest inventions ever. I'm totally going to get some of those crock-pot liners, so I can be even lazier. And since I don't eat meat, probably won't eat anything I actually cook in the crock-pot, I really don't care all that much how it turns out.

I have known for several days that I look good. I'm back from my trip, I'm all skinny. My nails are all pretty, my hair is freshly colored (finally!), blah blah blah.

I especially knew that I looked cute yesterday. With my 80's-inspired dress, black with this really cool pink/fushcia/white geometrical print. And my black strappy sandals and my flat-ironed hair and my dark Lancome eyes and pink sparkly lipstick. (So much for dressing like a grown-up.)

Now I shall tell two different stories, and this will be the only time I ever say that Wal Mart was better than Target.

I went to Target yesterday, all cute. I noticed this guy walking past me, but I didn't think anything about it. I was too busy trying to pick out a case for my I-Pod. I'm looking at the cases, and this guy walks right up next to me and says: "Excuse me ma'am, I was wondering if I could have your phone number"?

I replied with "I'm married" and he went on his way.

Even in all my cuteness, it's always surprising to me when something like this happens. When I relayed this story to the Pastor, he said DIDN'T HE SEE YOUR RING? I guess not! Or maybe he didn't care. Or maybe, just maybe, the Pastor needs to think about getting me an even BIGGER ring. (He is not going to like that. Not at all. I should probably delete that. That one is going to get me into trouble.)

Sadly, I didn't want to give the guy my number, I wanted to give him some advice. Like when you approach a girl, you don't call her "ma'am" when you have the intention of picking her up. He should have just left that one out. Yes, I make the children say yes ma'am and yes sir, but when you are trying to pick someone up, it's probably something you should steer clear of. Then, he just jumped right in. No hey I was noticing you, you look really pretty, what are you out shopping for today. Just jumps right out there with the could I have your phone number. Granted, the guy didn't give me any corny lines, but why would you want to give someone your number just because they come up and ask for it? What's the incentive here? I would personally need a reason.

I thought the Pastor was never going to ask for my phone number. We were both in a group together, I saw him every Thursday night. I jangled my bracelets at him, trying to Jezebel him into noticing me. I tried to engage him in conversation, and it just didn't work. The last Thursday night of our group, I left. Too old-fashioned to ask for his number (or too chicken). Thinking I was never going to see him again. Sad.

But, thankfully, Wal Mart is open 24 hours. I hate Wal Mart, but they really do get you with that whole 24-hour thing. Because sometimes you are awake and you have no where else to go. Later that night, I went to Wal Mart, and I bumped into the Pastor there, and he finally asked for my contact information. You never know, when you give a guy something like that, if you'll ever actually hear from them again, but by the time I got home from Wal Mart that night, I already had an e-mail from the Pastor.

I'm so glad he did. He makes me happy, even more so than the crock-pot.