I thought Eve gave Adam the Apple? Or, did Eve bring it to Adam in the shower?

All the reasons the Pastor bought me an Apple computer:
1. Because whining works. I wore him down. Which is exactly why I don’t let children do it.
2. Carrie Bradshaw = Apple Computer. Elle Woods = Apple Computer. Obviously, this is blonde-friendly technology.
3. Because I am spoiled. Refer to #1.
4. Because I get up and make him jam sandwiches every morning. Not really, but I sure did this morning.
5. Because after the last four weeks of practically no makeup, he was so glad to see me in eyeliner again he would have done just about anything for me.
6. Because taking me to Europe for a month just wasn’t enough for him. That’s what kind of guy he is, he’s got to go above and beyond. See #3. And, see below, about the shower.
7. Coincidentally, he gave me the computer on the eve of a day when I am taking care of his children ALL DAY. He’s trying to butter me up. If he has to do this for me, imagine what we have to go through to get a repeat external babysitter.
8. Because I can’t buy it myself, or the Satan’s minions who work at Discover Card who conspire with the Pastor letting him know my every shopping move would be calling him about the charge card total before I even made it out of the computer store door.
9. Because secretly he WAS concerned about how fat I was getting, and he promised himself if Robyn will just lose that five pounds I will buy her a computer as a special reward.
10. He had to buy it for me, because he knows the Apple store is right next door to the Coach store at the mall. If I went to buy my own computer, I’d come home with a very nice computer bag, costing more than the computer itself.
11. Because of all the special time we've spent together in the shower. See below.

I’m glad we are done with that. I’ve been bothering the Pastor about a computer for a very long time. It’s probably been our most consistent, non-kid “discussion”. Well, it's probably been MY most consistent non-kid discussion anyway. Now I can start bugging him about something else (just kidding, sweetheart!). Actually, I won't have time to bug him (another possible reason he got it) because I can blog and write all the time! My very own personal private computer! Mine mine mine!!! All the live-long day! I'm so excited. It's not that I have anything important or worthwhile to say, but it makes me feel better.

And speaking of “discussion” and Satan’s minions, here is the latest installment in the saga of step-parenting from hell. While we were out of the country, daughter #2 told her mother and her counselor that “Daddy says he is going to get my mommy put in jail”. Daughter #1, on the other hand, told the mommy and the counselor “Robyn and Daddy have sex in their shower every single night!!!”. Every single night!!! On the bright side, this is good, because at least we know she is still a virgin. Because no one who has ever gotten to have sex would be thinking that having sex in a shower is so much fun that people would want to do it in there every single night. Both daughters have since recanted. I can’t express to you how much fun it was to come home and get to address these issues right away, with the counselor and the parenting coordinator. Wait, yes I can. It was nearly as much fun as it would be to have sex in a stand-up stall of a shower.