For your convenience, here is a Holy Land trip summary:
-My jar of Nutella made it through airport security.
-You ride the bus/walk to a site with old rocks and an old church. The church is probably built over an old cave. You ask the Pastor was Jesus really here or does this just commemorate Jesus. Peddlers ask you to buy ten postcards for a dollar. You ride the bus/walk to the next site with old rocks and an old church, repeat.
-I like Hummus and Pita. But I don't care what anyone says. Its not for breakfast. Nutella!
-Falafel. I ate food prepared by street vendors, on the same street where you can find live chickens on one side of a store and roasting chickens on the other. And butchered cows hanging everywhere. But when you get back to the States, all Customs cares about is if you went to a farm. Hmmmm.
-I'm still trying to figure out how those Jewish guys get their curls so tight.
-Was it wrong of me, at the Wailing Wall, to think that girl's shoes are really cute? They were.
-I ate the best bagel I've ever had in my life in the Jewish Quarter.
-Herod didn't just hate little babies and Jesus. Two and a half years ago, the Pastor sprained his ankle hiking at Masada. On this trip, I fell on my knee hiking at Masada. Ouch.
-A shekel is worth something like a quarter. But by the time you go back and forth between Jerusalem where they have shekels and Jordan where they have jd's, you'll be so confused about converting and doing math and bartering when you just want to buy a diet coke that you just hold your coins out and let the shopkeeper take whatever they want. Then you give the rest to a Bedouin sheep farmer's kid in exchange for a hand-beaded bracelet.
-Jesus apparently didn't stress the need for hot showers and extreme water pressure in his homeland.
-If you find Pashminas for $10, buy more than one. I am a fashion victim in any country.
-On the flight home, the Pastor read some book about the Psalms. I read Allure and Us Magazine.
-A very friendly Egyptian man hit on me twice in front of the Pastor. I think the Pastor was contemplating how many camels he could trade me for. I'm sure he quickly realized I'm worth a lot of camels, and they would be messy to clean up after, especially without me around.
-Its apparently acceptable for ground crew to decide they are just not going to unload luggage because its too cold outside. Therefore, after we missed our connecting flight sitting in Customs waiting for luggage, we got a bonus night in Chicago courtesy of Royal Jordanian Air. Furthermore, in the Middle East I witnessed kindness, graciousness, and generosity. It wasn't until I returned to America I saw the real terrorists, and they were all working behind an airline counter where they still apparently use a paper-based system to handle flight re-bookings and hotel vouchers.
-I've been home for a day and I've plucked my own eyebrows, given myself a mani/pedi and a facial with my Dead Sea mud mask. Its good to do the do-it-yourself beauty after you get home from international travel - because sometimes Pastors don't understand spending money on such things immediately after he has spent money to take you several time zones away. I am going to get my hair done tomorrow - there are some lines I won't cross. I also put my heels back on today. Yes my knee hurts, but I couldn't let Herod get the best of me.