do not disturb

I have stayed at six hotels in the past nine days.

That may be the definition of insanity.

The Pastor psychotically changed our hotel arrangements two of those nights, in a rather unexpected fashion. He decided we would rather stay at a castle surrounded by nature, NATURE, instead of being at a Best Western surrounded by a swimming pool and cable television (AND A STARBUCKS).

Do I look like the outdoorsy type to you?

On one of the days when he made an unexpected hotel change and left me with the kids to re-pack our suitcases and re-load up the van, he had his sister call me because he was wisely too chicken to try to converse with me. For some reason, he thought I might be unreasonable.

Have you seen what a van looks like when it's been loaded with luggage by children?

Other exciting stuff. I did get to eat pizza. I'm probably fat again. I also got to shop at a K-Mart. I have made the Pastor stop at every single Starbucks I have seen. I did not see any in Kansas.

Oh, one more thing. I have never gotten to stay in a hotel room ALONE WITH MY HUSBAND. Yes, we did go to England and did get to stay in a dorm-type room by ourselves, but stateside, in all the hotel rooms in all the cities we have been to, we have never been in a hotel room without children. Specifically, we have never been in a hotel room without the step-daughters. Sometimes we have been without Mr. Nate, but we have always had at least the step-daughters with us.

I want to stay in a hotel room alone with my husband.

I don't want to have to worry about who is going to wake up in the morning who is going to sleep on the roll-away or on the floor shuffling kids in and out of the bathroom waking up in time for the continental breakfast.

I want to be alone with my husband.

THAT would be a vacation.