1. Ascertain location of car. Long story - but 6 cars and 2 drivers. Not as easy to find car as you might think.
2. Start engine. Sigh in complete and utter exasperation at fuel gauge because the Fuel Fairy is conveniently out of the country when you need gas in your car.
3. Contemplate driving one of the other five vehicles. No, I can do this!
4. Pull into gas station #1.
5. Think hard - which car are you driving? Which side of the car is gas tank on? OK, got that figured out. Pull up next to pump.
6. Note that all pumps are covered up. Leave gas station.
7. Drive to gas station #2.
8. Swipe card. I'm on the right path now!
9. Remove gas cap. Stare hard at gas cap mentally willing self to remember to place it back on and not drive off without it.
10. Enter zip code? What fresh heck is this? When did they start requiring my postal code for gas? Is it really their beeswax? But this is the trade-off you must have when you choose to deal with machines/robots instead of humans.
11. Enter zip code.
12. Enter zip code.
13. Enter zip code.
14. Get ready to walk inside gas station.
15. Greet attendant as he walks out. Apparently, I do get to deal with a human. The key pad is not working.
16. Drive to another pump.
17. Swipe card.
18. Enter zip code!
20. Hang up phone with Mom. It's just too complicated to do all this at once!
23. Standing outside at corner gas station, look like stereotypical dumb blonde wearing heels with shiny red car who doesn't have a clue what she's doing.
24. What am I doing wrong? When did it become so freakin' hard to get gas? Doubt entire existence.
25. Count to ten. Once I reach ten, if something hasn't happened, I'm off to gas station #3.
26. As I get to ten, pump comes on.
27. Begin fueling.
28. Talk to other person fueling up about how hard it is to get gas.
29. Talk to attendant again as he comes out and apologizes for delay in pump coming on (Ha! : ) I didn't do anything wrong!)
30. Remember to place gas cap back on! Huzzah!
31. Wish to live in magical land I've heard of called "Oregon" where they don't let amateurs attempt this feat.
32. Message Pastor how much I miss him.