bewitched

I can't imagine that anyone outside my parents has the desire to watch this thing, but here's six minutes of:

1. Me with hat & hat hair. It was so cold, I found out what evil must feel like. Two days in Salem before the Pastor's conference taught me they didn't actually burn witches at the stake, they hung them. But had anyone tried to burn me, I would have said thank you very much for trying to get me warm. I especially love all the pictures where it was more important for me to button my coat however crookedly I could rather than to risk being cold. $438 BCBG coat (ha I didn't pay that much for it on E-Bay!) with three buttons, and I can't get it right.

2. Everything I was able to see with the Pastor before and after his conference with 7,000 Bible geeks, and everything I saw by myself and convinced random strangers on the street to take my picture. Don't worry, I didn't take any candy from anyone.

3. I'm actually standing around some pretty famous stuff - Charles Dickens' mirror, the place where Nathaniel Hawthorne hung out, where President Kennedy proposed to Jackie, blah blah blah.

4. No wonder the Pilgrims settled here. Its a magical land, with a Dunkin' Donuts on every corner. The Pastor said it was the closest I would ever get to to getting my double d's. Not a terribly funny joke, but when you're around this many Bible geeks, it doesn't take much to look like a stand-up comic. On the flip side, what were you Pilgrims thinking? If it were ever up to me to settle a new land, if I got off the boat in December and it felt like 20 below freezing, I'd get back on the boat. Actually it would be more realistic to say that I'd never have gotten on the small, smelly boat to begin with.

5. $31 to ride a train, $20 in cab fair, $6 at Dunkin' Donuts - $57 total for the biggest disappointment ever - Plymouth Rock. A mere pebble which is such a lame rock it even cracked and had to be glued back together and cannot actually be traced back to the Pilgrims. Its a farce! It was actually more exciting (and cheaper) to watch the street fight we saw in front of our hotel.

6. Everything I ate. I had to store some fat for warmth. What else could I do, wandering around Boston by myself without the Pastor to keep me warm while he was listening to the Scholars. Bisque and coffee helped.

If you have the patience to watch through to the end, there's actually a picture of me without my hat, and I almost look pretty.

its like the mother ship calling me home

Hi from Salem, Massachusetts.

My horoscope, pardon me - my Glamourscope - says "If life were a prom, you'd so be voted queen right now."

Things are pretty good. At the B&B we are at, they had apple pie for breakfast. Its all fun and games til I get back on the scale next week.

I'm still eating Halloween candy!!!

I thought I had a few more weeks left to be naughty.

No such luck.

It started on Friday when I went to the mall.

Santa was there! Already! On November 14!!!! And he waved at me, signaling he clearly knows me and is watching.

I went home and put up my Christmas tree. And wrapped my presents. I didn't know what else to do. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because I'm finished.

life, liberty and the pursuit of shoes

Are you tired of the same old choices? Do you want a candidate that represents the issues that are important to you? Ladies and gentlemen, there's a new party in town...and it's hot! Vote Carrie Bradshaw for a more stylish America!

Carrie Bradshaw has a plan for this nation--from the downtrodden masses to the wealthy elite, she intends to bring fashion to the people, one closet, one wardrobe, one person at a time!

CARRIE'S PLATFORM:

Want to know if Carrie Bradshaw is the right candidate for you? Check out her positions on the biggest issues:

Carrie on the Economy:

"I like my money right where I can see it... hanging in my closet."

Carrie on Technology:

"I don't believe in email. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up."

Carrie on Civil Rights:

"Maybe the best any of us can do is not quit, play the hand we've been given, and accessorize with the outfit we've got."

Carrie on Violence in Film and Television:

"Welcome to the age of un-innocence. No one has breakfast at Tiffany's, and no one has affairs to remember."

Carrie on Housing and Urban Development:

"Beauty is fleeting, but a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the park is forever."

Carrie on Animal Rights:

"You can't be friends with a squirrel! A squirrel is just a rat in a cuter outfit."

Carrie on Marriage:

"If you're single, after graduation there isn't one occasion where people celebrate you. Hallmark doesn't make a 'congratulations, you didn't marry the wrong guy' card. And where's the flatware for going on vacation alone?"

four college degrees and he couldn't figure this one out

Pastor: I've been watching you sort the (Halloween) candy and I can't figure out how you're doing it. What are you doing?

Me: This pile is candy I like (chocolate, blow pops and sweet tarts) and this pile is candy I don't like (tootsie rolls, laffy taffy, nerds).

I can't believe he even had to ask!