I keep them hidden in my bedroom.
No one knows where they are but me. When I'm all alone, I pull them out from underneath the mattresses and lust over the dog-eared slick pages. Completely buying into the fantasy. If anyone should barge in on my private time, I quickly hide the evidence.
Its the J. Crew Fall Look Book and catalog.
When flipping through Vogue or In Style, I'll become captivated with a certain look. A hairstyle. Certain make-up. Fold down the corners of pages. Hang ripped out pages on my bathroom mirror or fridge. And I follow through. I don't turn down a corner and never look back. Sadly, this is one area of my life where I don't drop the ball. Returning library books on time? No thanks. Booking a hotel room for a trip? Nope. Having the exact same make-up as Sarah Jessica Parker on the cover of Glamour? That becomes my life's mission. Last month, when Kate Moss was on the cover of Vogue I completely replicated her make-up. Easy-peasy. She wears Rimmel cosmetics and that's about the cheapest make-up on the planet.
But I cannot recall ever being so captivated by anything as I've been with J. Crew's catalog and the "5 Days in Prague" theme. I want to walk the cobbled streets of Prague wearing rhubarb cords and the Lydia bright saffron blouse and burnt sienna heels. (That would tick the Pastor off because at some point in our Prague story we'd be running to catch a train and there I'd be in heels). (He'd leave me there.) (A backpack and sleeping in a hostel matches none of these outfits.) But still, I long to hug a lamppost in the street while wearing the Velvet Ecole Jacket and matchstick jeans. I've been to this part of the world before with the Pastor, and believe me, it wasn't a fantasyland where I look adorable. It involved some sort of cheap synthetic fabric I could wash out in the sink of a train station, dirty hair and no makeup.
In part my fascination is because gray has long been my favorite color. I love love love love love gray. Now I have these lovely catalogs filled with not only gray, but pairing it with something I can only refer to as "baby poo yellow." I suppose since I love it so much I should find something else to call it besides "baby poo." J. Crew calls it "Golden Yellow Maple."
And are these even good colors for the fair and blonde? Gray and baby poo? This color palette sounds like something you'd be more likely to find in a woman's prison than a preppy store.
Its not so much having the particular J. Crew pieces as it is emulating the overall look. I'm fine to have a J. Crew piece here and there (bought on clearance and using my student i.d. for an additional 15% discount - yet another reason I love J. Crew). I picked up a baby poo bag at T J Maxx that fits in. A pair of super marked down $7 "burnt sienna" patent heels at Ross. Ballet flats from Goodwill.
I must admit, I've volunteered at the Church of the Poor and Homeless three times this week and I felt a wee bit guilty, at least 15% guilty, that I looked like a J. Crew model (well, an older, fatter J. Crew model) when most of the people there hadn't even gotten to shower. In a long time. I was a shameless shirt repeater and wore my "Seize the Day" shirt. One of the homeless men was talking to me about my shirt and said I should get one that said "Seize the Moment." Hmmm, it would be a lot less work.
Anyway, I know this is true love. I've never felt this way before. Its really going to last this time.
Until the Winter catalog comes out.
I'll move on. Its not completely vapid and meaningless. In a few months, expect some very stylish homeless people.