the mountain goat has shin bruises

Back from va-ca.

Someone should tell the Pastor my idea of a vacation doesn't entail a 140-foot vertical ascent on wooden ladders to see an Indian ceremonial cave, which really just looked like your regular sort of cave to me.

"Friends don't let friends teach their friends how to ski"
That's what the sign at the ski resort said. If I had a sign it would say "Don't let the Pastor teach you to ski." I love him dearly, but his style of teaching (shouting HEELS OUT!! HEELS OUT! PUSH YOUR HEELS OUT!) doesn't really work for me. I really enjoyed skiing, but I would have liked to have hired one of those young, handsome private ski instructors to coddle me and speak quietly to me and hold my hands and say things like "make a slice of pizza for me!" Not a husband who just points and laughs when I'm tangled up like a caught fish in the orange nets lining the ski slope.

Up til 2 a.m. packing and cleaning the night before we left. The Pastor had a speaking engagement at a youth conference on the first part of our trip. One night, I let the girls sit somewhere else while he was preaching, and the next day at lunch we received various reports about what the Pastor's children were doing while he was behind the pulpit. And it wasn't listening to the the Pastor. I asked Loretta what her Dad had preached about and she said "uh, uh, uhhhhhh the Bible?"

Finally able to have "vacation" when the speaking engagement was over. Even though two separate destinations meant I had to pack for two separate locations. Suitcases for our church function, and separate suitcases for our ski trip. The ski trip was the part of the vacation where I got to climb on Indian ladders, take a two hour hike wearing rubber flip flops and "ski." Oh, and when I was hiking in flip flops, a lady walked by and said I must be part mountain goat to be able to do that. How does cute footwear and lack of prior knowledge about hiking turn into me being part mountain goat? Changed hotel rooms at the ski resort, which essentially meant I got to re-pack and un-pack everything again. Then I got to come home and do all the laundry.

This afternoon, I went grocery shopping. Based on this book I just read, America's Cheapest Family, I decided to start grocery shopping for an entire month at a time. Why I thought this was a good idea to do immediately upon returning from vacation is beyond me. I wore my I-Pod while grocery shopping, which I think makes the whole experience much more pleasant. Drowns out all the noise that permeates from the stupid people. However, three separate people chose to ignore my ear buds and approach me with questions, requiring me to remove my ear buds. One about peanut butter, one about bread and one about applesauce. Sure, let me remove my ear buds to help you with your shopping.

Nathan got car sick and threw up six times on the way home, yet this was still the best trip we've ever taken with the kids. Coincidentally, it was the first family vacation I didn't get my period on.

The Pastor wants me to note the kids did learn how to ski from him.

1 comment:

Pinkstripe said...

Told you so. I never take ski tips from LM or friends. I always take a beginner's ski lesson on the morning of day one. No one ever asked me about pizza, but I did have a very good time skiing after that!