showlders

It's that special time of year. The time of year when I once again have to figure out what to wear to a Nazarene holiday party.

I went shopping yesterday. I ended up with pants from The Limited. Drew fit, black, with just a sheen of gold. And a gold lace halter top. Beautiful lace. Not metallic gold, a muted gold. Very nice looking.

So I thought. I get home, pull the top out of the bag (mistake!) and say sweetie what do you think of this? (mistake!)

Well, it would show your shoulders.

What? What's wrong with my shoulders? Are the provocative?

I've never heard a guy say "she has really sexy shoulders." Or is there some underground shoulder fetish thing I'm not aware of? I must admit I personally find my shoulders attractive because it's not an area of my body that's prone to fatness. No shoulder fat!

But the Pastor (guess I should say The Pastor since I said The Limited) said with the people we will be around, it's probably not wise for me to be showing my shoulders. I told him that I figured everyone would probably be relieved to finally see me in something that wasn't strapless.

Who wants to go to a party where you can't show your shoulders? Who wants to socially hang around with people who are offended by shoulders?

I had not tried on the outfit. I hardly ever try anything on, which I'd like to think is because I'm such an expert I can just eyeball it. (Well, you can always return it.) I resigned myself that I would take it back today and get somehing else I'd seen - a lavendar sweater wrap dress. OK, just a shade darker than lavender but not so dark that it's purple. But I tried the halter top outfit on today, and it looks quite lovely, even though my shoulders show. It's just a halter top! I have on PANTS with it. It's not like I'm naked.

I went back to the mall and got the wrap dress. I didn't return the halter top outfit. I don't know which I'm going to keep or wear.

Isn't this exciting? I'm sure you'll be in all kinds of suspense.

Then we went to Sephora and the Pastor bought me trashy eye makeup. I'm not sure why it's ok for me to trick up my eyes, but my naked shoulders are a potentially bad thing, but whatever.

I won't be going to the mall again anytime soon with the Pastor. I found out he is completely susceptible to the marketing techniques of the middle eastern entrepreneurs who own the hand lotion kiosk. But I must say, my hands do look fabulous.