robyn reviews stuff for your convenience

Robyn's fabulous movie reviews

Since I started hanging around the Pastor some four years ago, I've drastically decreased my movie viewing. But over the course of the past week, I've managed to see three movies: What Happens in Vegas, Made of Honor and Sex and the City.

All good. I would be unable to pick a favorite between Made of Honor and Sex and the City - I'm a die-hard SATC fan, but Patrick Dempsey without his shirt on? SATC vs. Patrick Dempsey? Wouldn't it be nice if they made one more film that combined the two and I didn't have to pick? Kind of like a cinematic Reese's Peanut Butter Cup?

There was one odd moment at the beginning of SATC where this old man sat next to me and was convinced I was sitting where his wife had been sitting and that I hadn't been sitting in that same chair for twenty minutes eating most of my popcorn before the movie even started. But I won't hold that against my SATC review because I'm pretty sure no one connected with the film had anything to do with that guy.

What was up with SATC? The microphone - what's that thing called? The boom? Was in a ton of the shots. Very distracting. I enjoyed the movie, but movies are expensive and don't even get me started on the popcorn. I kept telling myself "just ignore it" and "pretend its not there." Call me old fashioned, but I figure if I'm going to pay that much, the movie should at least be edited. If I could find someone to give me my money back based on having to look at the mic, I would.

I was all smug about the cute little outfit I wore to the movies. Dark blue skinny denim crops, pink strapless sparkly Express top, silver snakeskin heels. Smug until I got undressed at 10:00 p.m. and realized the shirt I had been wearing to many places all day still had the size sticker on the front. How did this escape me? The only thing I can figure, based on the stickers placement, is that the sticker was shielded from my view by my enormous breasts.

Robyn's book review

Yes, I read. Rather, I look at cookbooks with pictures and recipes.

I recently got "Eat This Not That." I'm not sure what's wrong with me. Maybe my body is craving some nutrients I'm missing with my vegetarian ways. This book doesn't make me want to eat healthy things. When I see the pictures of Outback Cheese Fries or KFC, I want to make bad choices. Plus I learned my favorite dessert at Chili's (Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie!!!) is like eating three Big Macs. I haven't been to Chili's in a long time, but after seeing/reading that in my book, I nearly went to Chili's.

Another book I have recently obtained is the "Hungry Girl" book. So far, not so good. I've tried one recipe, and it didn't make me want to try more. it was a recipe for fudge using a brownie mix and a can of pumpkin. The recipe appealed to me because it had just a few ingredients and it is fudge. The tagline of the recipe said something about "yes we know its weird to make fudge out of a brownie mix." Uhhhhhh, no. Because fudge is chocolate and brownies are chocolate. Its weird to make fudge out of pumpkin. But hey, I was willing to give it a shot.

Turns out fudge made out of pumpkin mix turns out about how you'd think fudge made out of a brownie mix would turn out.

Yuck.

there is a God and she cares for me

Sitting in the theatre waiting for Sex and the City to start!

happy Memorial Day indeed

The most wonderful thing happens where I live on Memorial Day weekend.

Firemen stand on street corners, in their firemen outfits, and collect money for charity in empty firemen boots. Once you have given a contribution, they give you a sticker to stick inside your windshield so they don't continue to ask you for donations as your pull up to various intersections.

This event led to the following conversation with the Pastor while driving:

him: What's this sticker for? Did you give money?

me: Absolutely.

him: Why?

me: Sweetie, if a decent looking girl stood on a street corner in a schoolgirl outfit collecting money for charity, wouldn't you pull out your spare change?

him: Yeah.

me: Well, these were firemen.

*****

What is it about firemen anyway? Are they all good looking, or is it just by some coincidence that they put the handsome ones on the corner this weekend?

Incidentally, I'm throwing my sticker away. They can hold a boot out to me as much as they want.

I think I can

blog from my new I Phone.

Don't know what to say though. I am just sitting in the car waiting on the Pastor. Its nice to have a new toy to entertain myself with.

date night

Did we go see "Baby Mama" or "Made of Honor" you might wonder?

No. We went to see "O Jerusalem" at the art museum.

The Pastor did try to take me to get Tres Leches cake after, but the restaurant mysteriously said they are no longer making it even though I ate it there last week. Hmmmm.

Then we came home and started the James Marsden double feature - "Enchanted" and "27 Dresses." The Pastor and I both fell asleep before the opening cartoon sequence in "Enchanted."

the myth of scarcity

When we were in Costa Rica, the Pastor taught a class on Christian stewardship and the environment.

Since I was there without a whole lot else to do in the rainforest, I sat in on parts of the class and the Pastor made me read one of the books for the class Serve God Save the Planet by Matthew Sleeth.

One of the things Dr. Sleeth talks about in his book is the myth of scarcity. This is basically the misconception that some people (me) think that there is not enough food to go around, so they hoard the food when in actuality there is plenty of food, the hoarded food rots and people without food starve. Dr. Sleeth wrote a very good book, but I'm guessing he was never unable to obtain whipped peanut butter.

Most of the time I don't understand what the heck the Pastor is talking about. But I completely understand the myth of scarcity.

Tomorrow is my birthday. Last year on the birthday, I requested that Mom not bake me a cake but oatmeal cookies instead. She did, and buying into the myth of scarcity, I did what any *normal* person would do. I hid the cookies. I rationed the cookies out to myself around my birthday. I probably only rationed them because, let's face it, they weren't the only cookies I was eating and there may have also been cake. The oatmeal cookies that I was too full to eat were secretly sealed in the deep freeze for me to enjoy all year long. Or, for me to rub in the face of my brothers in case Mom would have died sometime during the year. (Yes, Mom is gone, but look! I still have her cookies! So suck on that!!!!!)

I enjoyed a cookie here and there, up until about ten days ago when I realized I still had plenty of cookies left, my birthday was coming up and Mom would be making me more cookies. I no longer had to buy in to the myth of scarcity.

Mom brought over a new batch yesterday. I did share two, which was, I think, very big of me. Have I learned anything from the Pastor and Dr. Sleeth? The rest will probably end up in the deep freeze, with the single serving slices of cherry pie Mom made me for Valentine's Day. Ha! I've been holding out on you!!!

And the best part? I keep typing myth of scarcity myth of scarcity myth of scarcity hopeful that someday some theologian or smart person will be googling the myth of scarcity and instead of getting useful information will get my blog entry about pie and cookies.

lost in translation

things the Asian tailor lady said to me: (as you read you may want to read with an Asian accent if that helps)

-You have sexy body!
-Look at that! You must work out all the time! All the time!
-When I was working on your dress and my daughters saw it, they thought that you were a black woman because of how I was taking it in! But I said no! She's a white woman!
-You look like a model!
-You have tiny, tiny waist and biiiiiiig hips!
-Have you had butt implants?

I simultaneously feel complimented/violated/offended.

If anyone knows of a good tailor, let me know. I'm looking.

May Day

Once upon a time, there was a boy who cried wolf. He grew up and became a weatherman.

I have lived where I live all my life. As a result, I have become completely oblivious to the tornado sirens. I no longer care. I figure if a tornado hasn't gotten me yet, I'm safe.

The last time the sirens blew, I was working on the computer and Nate was doing something else. He said "Mom, is the tornado siren going off?" I said "nah" and just kept right on working. Next day I found out it was in fact the tornado siren going off. People ran for shelter! Me, I ignored my child's fears and kept on surfing the web (I still had an internet signal!!!). We lived.

I can only think of one time in the past decade the tornado warnings have actually forced me to seek shelter. It was after the Pastor and I got married, and I wasn't sure what was worse: possible tornado, or being trapped in a basement with the children. We lived.

Tonight, I was at Nate's band concert. The tornady (yes I spelled it like that on purpose) sirens started blowin', even though the tornady was no where close to us. It did tick me off though - if the tornado would have blown through and I would have died at a band concert and that would have sucked. I don't want to go like that. At least I had on a cute outfit - navy blue pencil skirt, red pumps, red/white polka dot blouse. I didn't get really angry until I rushed home to watch "The Office" only to find out that the only thing I would be watching tonight is the weather. I'm sorry people lost their outbuildings and the roof of their mobile home, but I wanted to see "The Office."

And if the tornado would have blown through, I would have really been in trouble getting my clothes blown off. I went commando today. Mom raised me better than that. She always said to wear clean underwear in case of an accident or natural disaster.

what have you done for me lately?

We had to go to rural America yesterday for the Pastor to preach. While we were there, some little kids were baptized. The children's minister asked the kids to share what God has done for them before they got baptized. The first little kid stood up and said that God had given him bunk beds.

What has God done for me lately?

Whipped Peanut Butter is back! I bought six jars of it.

Thank you Jesus. And in case your wondering, I would prefer a king size bed.

most brides

Would have said "its bad luck to see the groom on the wedding day."

Not me. I said "let's go eat Mexican food."

I was the bride who ate nachos, salsa and Dr. Pepper on her big day.

And cake too.

pictures: the remix

3 years

774 blog posts about being married to the Pastor
14 countries
14 states
2 well-used pairs of Chacos and Osprey backpacks
1 time I tried to kill you in Greece
2 skateboards
1 move
1 appliance, 1 dining room set and 1 car purchased
2 times I freaked out because black lizards crossed my path when we were hiking
3 kids
at least 150 trips to some sort of Mexican restaurant
36 months of cell phone commitment
1 completed Ph.D.
and 1 *free* anniversary card (this slideshow of pictures) I made on my computer

Happy Anniversary Pastor!

I'm glad I got my passport.

I love you.

til Tuesday

If the Pastor and I make it til Tuesday, we'll have made it three whole years.

I skipped down memory lane a bit and looked at some of my older posts.

Before the Pastor could talk about things like "commitment" and "marriage" he used phrases like "combining cell phone plans."

That should have told me something.

Anyway, here's the post -

*****

I knew he loved me when he bought me the big diamond ring. I knew he loved me when he put all my stuff in his garage. I knew he loved me when he let me drive the Mustang. But this is the sum total of all commitments - combining cell phone plans. He had to "assume responsibility" for me. We had a little ceremony right there at the T-Mobile store. It's funny how the Pastor gets all the responsibility and has to pay all the money, and I just sit around and look cute. Oh, by the way, I have on the free t-shirt that came with my Britney Spears perfume.

high IQ

I got this email today:



Robyn Renee, Happy Anniversary!
You took Tickle's Classic IQ Test a year ago! We want to celebrate by offering you an in-depth analysis of your IQ -- for FREE!

In your free IQ analysis:

How you compare to others
Your intellectual strengths
Answers to the test questions
Think you've gotten smarter in the past year? Take the test again!

********************



Apparently, I took an IQ test a year ago. Apparently, my IQ is not high enough for me to have even remembered doing this, nor what the results were.

How I compare to others? I compare fabulously!

I'm fairly certain I've done nothing in the past year that has made me any smarter, so I think I'll pass on the re-take. I would only improve on the score if they have somehow added a celebrity trivia section.

Costa Rica

How often do you get to see me on a horse?

I am here

Hola!

I am here
www.granhotelcostarica.com/english/

It is a "1930 Historical Landmark."

Presidents Truman, Kennedy and Carter stayed here! And John Wayne. And now me. And the Pastor.

Spent a lovely day in San Jose, Costa Rica.

Now at this fabulous hotel. The National Theatre (Wikipedia if you want) is right across the street, and they have everything around our hotel blocked off for the Opera tonight - police and blokades that make the Pastor and I feel like celebrities.

Working at putting back on some of the weight I´ve lost this past week. Nutella crepes!

Ahhhhhhh. Good day. Good night. Home tomorrow.

every cloud has a silver lining

Two fabulous things about the rainforest:

1. My hair looks amazing. And I've not even flat ironed it! Just travel size Pantene shampoo and conditioner - much cheaper than the beauty supply store stuff I've been using.

2. Due to my refusal to eat any more, due to what must be the largest rat ever (I saw the poo) I have no doubt dropped some pounds.

Its practically like coming to a spa!

Except for the whole toilet paper thing.

and my knight in shining armor came riding upon a white horse to rescue me

Not quite, but I did get the white horse.

The Pastor and I took a two hour horse ride through the rainforest this morning.

It was my idea - what a fabulous marital compromise. He got to be out in the nature, and I didn't have to worry about any snakes or lizards. The only thing I had to worry about was my cranky horse.

Here today and tomorrow and then off to San Jose. Nope, not California. San Jose, Costa Rica.

its a rainforest out there

Greetings from Costa Rica.

If you think I'm at some swanky tourist-y place, you are wrong.

It was a bumpy flight. I concentrated very hard at not throwing up.

From the plane, it was an even bumpier ride on a bus. For hours. The people on the bus went up and down, up and down, and round and round. I concentrated very hard on not throwing up.

Finally, the bumpy road ended. It was replaced with a mud slide. For hours. I concentrated very hard on not dying.

I made it. Probably not the most helpful thing that the girl who sat next to me at dinner on our first night was telling about how she had just been bit by a snake.

I later explained to the Pastor that I am not 1. a scientist or 2. a four-year old boy. I don't like snakes or bugs.

I've been on two long hikes with the Pastor. I've gotten much better at hiking. I found out that hiking is really just walking. Except when you hike there are bugs and lizards and giant piles of animal poo.

Why, after the first hike, did the Pastor find it necessary to mention that he had seen a snake on our hike, why????? On today's hike, I saw a giant black lizard. The Pastor, thinking it must have been another snake, tried to tell me it was a twig. I knew better. Also, something growled at me (it may have been the Pastor).

I am getting to at least sleep with the Pastor. We are in a room with two twin beds, pushed together. I think this is the third time in our marriage we've had to push the beds together.

The good news is I'll come home all ripped from this trip from the lack of food and all the hiking (those two times).

That's all for now. Oh, and I really, really miss flushing my toilet paper.

how to make coffee in 26 easy steps

1. Wake up. Where am I? Oh, I'm at home.

2. Think about going to Starbucks. No! How long has it been since I've had coffee at home? When was the last time I was at home???

3. No milk. After all, I haven't been at home. Throw on Victoria's Secret PINK hoodie, jeans and flip-flops.

4. Drive to store, secretly praying no one will see me in hoodie, jeans, bed head and last night's eye makeup. All the while, texting BFF.

5. Oh look - Easter candy 75% off! Limited edition!!! Mountain Dew for the Pastor!

6. Now what did I come to the store for?

7. Oh yes, milk! Get milk.

8. Those Easter Nerds Ropes were only 12 cents? They are practically giving them to me! Should I buy more?

9. Drive home.

10. Put coffee and water in coffee machine.

11. Wait, my steamer isn't working. How am I supposed to steam the milk?

12. Maybe the steamer is clogged. Get out vinegar to un-clog steaming apparatus.

13. Nope, doesn't work.

14. Spill vinegar all over the place.

15. Clean up. Vinegar smell reminds me I didn't dye Easter eggs with the kids. Feel guilty.

16. Take deep breath.

17. Its okay. I have a back-up coffee machine. Get out back-up coffee machine and its 82-page instruction booklet.

18. Think about waking up 12-year old to help decipher instruction booklet.

19. Pour water into machine.

20. Water immediately comes out of bottom of machine, all over freshly-clean-from-vinegar-spill counter.

21. Realize that is why I was able to purchase coffee machine #2 at such a fantastic price.

22. Clean up apocalypse from coffee maker #2.

23. Get in shower.

24. Get dressed.

25. Blog about coffee disaster.

26. Go to Starbucks.

b&b

The Pastor and I slept here last night:



http://www.innatwoodwardpark.com/

There were fresh cookies! And stuffed french toast this morning!

Does anyone have

a "Buber for Dummies" book?

Maybe the Pastor should write one.

I am, for what must be the millionth time, listening to the Pastor teach on Martin Buber.

I still don't get the "I-Thou" stuff.

playing catch

I can't explain why this is so funny to me. Actually, I can. I just can't tell you.

I must merely record the following quote from the Pastor for posterity:

"You do your thing, and I'll do mine, and when I'm ready I'll catch up with you."

That one sentence manages to perfectly sum up the past four years.

p.s. Pastor, thanks for proposing three years ago today!

places I've been in the past week

1. home
2. Phoenix, Arizona
3. Los Angeles, California
4. Beverly Hills, California
5. Santa Monica, California
6. Malibu, California
7. Hermosa Beach, California
8. Long Beach, California
9. Redondo Beach, California
10. Venice Beach, California
11. Indianapolis, Indiana
12. Kansas City, Kansas
13. home again, for about 5 seconds
14. Dallas, Texas

Will be home again today. Phew. Looking forward to spending a few days with a BFF!!!! : ) and then off to Tulsa, Oklahoma next weekend.

Princess of the White Castle

My fantastical imagination has been at work again.

The Pastor and I got re-routed home from Los Angeles, and ended up in Indianapolis.

Naturally, my first thought - this will be a bonus night with the Pastor in a hotel room in what must no doubt be the most romantic city on the planet!

I'd never been to Indianapolis before.

I started envisioning the Pastor and I - in a cold city, finding a way to stay warm together. Since we had no clothes but the shorts on our backs from our Cali trip (we left behind all our other clothes to donate) we would have to just hole up in our romantic hotel room, furnished to us by Southwest Airlines.

Reality. If we're in a city, we're going to go see it. Taxi cab downtown. I did find some jeans, so I didn't have to brave 34 degree weather in my madras. The nice romantic dinner? White Castle. We'd never been to one before.

The Pastor did say to me, over a bag of Sliders, that I was the prettiest girl at White Castle. I was also the only girl at White Castle, but I guess I'll take what I can get.

Los Angeles Mission Trip + Cali-fun

just like Malibu Barbie

How I was just like Malibu Barbie today -

Malibu Barbie would have been a do-gooder and would have made meals for terminally ill people with HIV & AIDS. She would have even worn a hair net (she probably has her own pink one.)

Malibu Barbie would have gone through the drive-thru of In-n-Out Burger. However, she would have been in a convertible and not a 15-passenger church van.

Malibu Barbie would have gone to Malibu Beach. She probably would have gotten to wash her hair afterwards though.

I'm too tired and lack the computer time to compare the Pastor to Malibu Ken.

Redon-dant

Sigh. I'm at the beach. Again.

I know. Its a rough life. Somebody had to do it. You are welcome.

Redondo Beach and Venice Beach this week.

Granted, in order to get to the beach, I've had to come on this mission trip, sort through rotting, expired food donations, buy a homeless man new underwear, only shower every other day for 5 minutes, sleep in a Pastor-less bunk bed and (once again) embrace the smell of public urination, but I'm at the beach!

And any day at the beach is better than just about any day anywhere else.

thank you Easter Bunny

my idea of an Easter Basket
www.coach.com

my idea of good Easter Basket filler
www.godiva.com

I don't do marshmallow peeps or those nasty candy hiding eggs. Ick. And absolutely, positively nothing hollow.

spring cleaning

I've been having a major "trash attack" at my house.

I have a very large pile of assorted junk, getting ready to take it to Goodwill.

Silly me. I didn't get rid of the pile fast enough. Silly me. I thought I'd keep adding to it. Silly me. I thought if we've not used an item since we moved into this Parsonage 15 months ago, then we probably don't need it.

Now the Pastor has picked through the pile. As soon as I saw him start to pick I knew what was going to happen.

I knew he would start waxing sentimental about those pots. Those two sauce pans. About how his parents bought those for him and that's what he cooked his food in blah blah blah. The two pots that aren't non stick and are old and ugly and have been sitting unused and taking up space in MY kitchen cabinets. Those two pots that we could give away and some homeless person could use.

I thought he wanted to be a minimalist! I thought he liked the idea of things being clean and organized - at least in theory. In practice, he's the tasmanian devil in this house - leaving pants and Birkenstocks and receipts and I Pods and reading glasses and palm pilots in his wake. Then when he next needs said pants and Birkenstocks and receipts and I Pods and reading glasses and palm pilots, naturally I have "hidden" it from him by putting it away. How dare I!

If he wants to journey down memory lane, maybe he should reflect on how he never has to cook for himself anymore. How he never has to eat Sloppy Joes or spaghetti anymore.

i think he'd rather have me than the two WearEver pots. After all, it was Flower Friday yesterday (flowers for me!) and I did get breakfast in bed this morning (a VENTI non-fat sugar-free vanilla Caramel Macchiato. I never buy myself a Venti, except on my birthday). But just in case, I guess I'd better put those pans back in the cabinet. Until next time. Or, until next week. When he goes out of town.

so much fondue

I ate the whole thing. Plus some of the Pastor's.

celebrating Leap Year

Why not? It only happens every four years!

baby corn

freaks me out

There's no baby corn in Mexican food.

I'm doing really good on Lent. That is, if you don't count today I'm doing really good on Lent.

I was going to blog something else, but between the treadmill and the computer (approximately three steps) I forgot what I was going to write. Exercise must not improve your memory.

I know why the caged bird shops

Turn, turn from sin and sorrow . . .

Two things I have learned thus far during Lent.

Turns out there is a reason I've spent so much time shopping.

Turns out I have nothing else to do.

And where to eat? Turns out I can't pick a non-Mexican restaurant to save my life. Therefore, you end up eating at IHOP.

this is the kind of stuff you do when you have given up shopping for Lent

Internet quizzes are almost as much fun as shopping. Cheaper too.

You Belong in 1966

You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too.

What Year Do You Belong In?

the 7 day itch

I'm having a hard day today.

I want to eat cupcakes and go to The Limited and buy a red dress. Or, I want to go buy the red dress, put it on and then eat the cupcakes. Very carefully, as to not get the dress dirty.

A red dress and cupcakes would definitely make me feel better.

cold hands, warm heart!

for the record

I gave up cupcakes for Lent. Those devil-ish cupcakes at Starbucks.

I did not give up giant pieces of chocolate cake from the cafe' with the twinkle lights the Pastor sometimes takes me to for dessert.

Pastor's dessert

my Valentine

Valentine Ball shoes

Numbers 26:10 ~ and the earth opened her mouth and swallowed them up together

Why God, Why?

Aren't you paying attention to how good I'm being during Lent? I've been doing everything I've said I would do. I haven't been doing the stuff I said I wouldn't do, and I've even felt a little guilty doing some stuff I didn't say I'd give up.

How could she do this to me?

I had a fabulous time at the Valentine's Ball. I ended up choosing from the three outfit contenders the white BCBG dress. It was absolutely my most favorite thing I have ever worn - and I've worn two wedding dresses! If I wasn't married, I would get married in that BCBG dress. Shoot,if I wasn't married, I'd marry that BCBG dress.

But when we got to the Ball, God decided to take me down a notch. I looked too good. I was too happy.

Out of all the dresses in all of the world, someone had on the same exact dress as me.

Not that God hadn't forewarned me properly. In my life, I've been to one other event at that particular country club. On that night, someone had on the same outfit as me. God was clearly trying to tell me, everytime you come to this place someone will be dressed exactly like you, and that will be your curse.

But back to the Valentine's Ball. I had two choices. I could avoid the girl all night (the Pastor did his best to make sure I didn't see her when she came in, but its hard to miss such a beautiful dress), or I could take the high-heeled road and go up to her and tell her how fantastic her dress was, well, because it was!

I went up to her and she said the best possible thing anyone could say in a situation like ours. She said "Robyn, just the other day, someone was telling me what great style you have." Well duh!

I still had a great night. Just that little minor detail. Oh, and someone called me by the ex-wife's name. But still, a wonderful night.

and on the first day

I made it through day 1. No nutella, no cupcake (Nate ate the last one in the fridge - I do have a stockpile in the deep freeze), no shopping, no mexican food!!!

And between abs, eliptical machine and treadmill - I exercised for one hour and fifteen minutes.

Could I have been any more perfect? As a matter of fact, yes! I sold two dresses which completely justifies all the new clothing I purchased (before lent!) to wear to the Valentine's ball tonight. I don't know which outfit I'm wearing. There are three or four contenders. I also gave myself a manicure, saving the Pastor $15.00!

check engine

Fat Tuesday, Ash Wednesday and Chinese New Year - what an exciting week.

Fat Tuesday lived up to its name - with mexican food and a cupcake, I did what I could. Chinese New Year - don't even think about trying to get a mani/pedi on Thursday. Ash Wednesday - they put the ashes on with baby oil. I asked the Pastor if it was my imagination, or did my forehead smell like a baby??? Turns out he doesn't like the smell of baby oil. What kind of monster doesn't like that smell? Of course, I am a female and apparently genetically coded to think baby oil smells good.

I've been thinking about what to give up, or what to take up for Lent this year.

I'm far from perfect, but I have already switched to decaf, don't eat meat/chicken/pork/eggs, don't drink milk and for two years have been driving an $800 car with damage on every single spot you could possibly damage on a car and a check engine light that's been on the entire time we've owned it. Guess those check engine lights don't mean a whole lot huh? Anyway, without the caffeine and the meat and all, what else is left? Actually, quite a bit.

Here's what I've decided to do
-chose kindness
-no cupcakes
-no mexican food
-exercise one hour each day
-no shopping for clothes, purses or shoes
-no Nutella

for a limited time only!!!

I think "for a limited time only" is perhaps the scariest phrase ever.

Chocolate cherry diet Dr. Pepper anyone?

For a limited time only!

Cupcakes at Starbucks anyone?

For a limited time only!

Don't even get me started on whipped peanut butter.

Only really cool stuff is for a limited time only. You can pretty much guarantee if something sucks, it will be around forever. Like acne, ex wives, wrinkles, etc.

That phrase makes me want to stockpile (is that one word or two? I don't care enough to look it up) an emergency supply. And I never stockpile. I was one of those people who didn't care about Y2K. My concerned brother (as opposed to my unconcerned brother) brought me an oil lamp about a week before Y2K, in case the world ended. I could have cared less and the world didn't end.

And if the world ever ends, I can guarantee you I wouldn't care about light from an oil lamp as much as I would cupcakes and chocolate cherry diet Dr. Pepper. When the time comes, I will have one heck of a par-tay, seeings how I would have to eat all the cupcakes thawing from a deep freeze with no electricity. Don't come over; I won't share.

you're welcome

If you feel better about the state of the union today, you can thank me.

I'm temping. Contributing to the economy. Playing office.

Technically, this will probably only affect you directly if you have Starbucks stock. There happens to be a Starbucks conveniently located next to the temp agency where I temp.

But that's not the only reason I like to temp. I also like the Barista (I'm probably old enough to be his mother) who fawns over me. Granted, he probably treats all customers the same, but I don't know that and for three minutes of the day I feel special.

Plus the temp agency loves me, appreciates me, begs for me to come back and can't get enough of me (yet). The foundation of any good relationship in my opinion.

Most important, I actually have a valid reason to dress up.

I'm sorry people died.

I truly am.

But I'm still alive.

And what is life without Peter Pan Whipped Peanut Butter?

I want my whipped peanut butter back. Please.

Thank you.