pictures: the remix

3 years

774 blog posts about being married to the Pastor
14 countries
14 states
2 well-used pairs of Chacos and Osprey backpacks
1 time I tried to kill you in Greece
2 skateboards
1 move
1 appliance, 1 dining room set and 1 car purchased
2 times I freaked out because black lizards crossed my path when we were hiking
3 kids
at least 150 trips to some sort of Mexican restaurant
36 months of cell phone commitment
1 completed Ph.D.
and 1 *free* anniversary card (this slideshow of pictures) I made on my computer

Happy Anniversary Pastor!

I'm glad I got my passport.

I love you.

til Tuesday

If the Pastor and I make it til Tuesday, we'll have made it three whole years.

I skipped down memory lane a bit and looked at some of my older posts.

Before the Pastor could talk about things like "commitment" and "marriage" he used phrases like "combining cell phone plans."

That should have told me something.

Anyway, here's the post -

*****

I knew he loved me when he bought me the big diamond ring. I knew he loved me when he put all my stuff in his garage. I knew he loved me when he let me drive the Mustang. But this is the sum total of all commitments - combining cell phone plans. He had to "assume responsibility" for me. We had a little ceremony right there at the T-Mobile store. It's funny how the Pastor gets all the responsibility and has to pay all the money, and I just sit around and look cute. Oh, by the way, I have on the free t-shirt that came with my Britney Spears perfume.

high IQ

I got this email today:



Robyn Renee, Happy Anniversary!
You took Tickle's Classic IQ Test a year ago! We want to celebrate by offering you an in-depth analysis of your IQ -- for FREE!

In your free IQ analysis:

How you compare to others
Your intellectual strengths
Answers to the test questions
Think you've gotten smarter in the past year? Take the test again!

********************



Apparently, I took an IQ test a year ago. Apparently, my IQ is not high enough for me to have even remembered doing this, nor what the results were.

How I compare to others? I compare fabulously!

I'm fairly certain I've done nothing in the past year that has made me any smarter, so I think I'll pass on the re-take. I would only improve on the score if they have somehow added a celebrity trivia section.

Costa Rica

How often do you get to see me on a horse?

I am here

Hola!

I am here
www.granhotelcostarica.com/english/

It is a "1930 Historical Landmark."

Presidents Truman, Kennedy and Carter stayed here! And John Wayne. And now me. And the Pastor.

Spent a lovely day in San Jose, Costa Rica.

Now at this fabulous hotel. The National Theatre (Wikipedia if you want) is right across the street, and they have everything around our hotel blocked off for the Opera tonight - police and blokades that make the Pastor and I feel like celebrities.

Working at putting back on some of the weight I´ve lost this past week. Nutella crepes!

Ahhhhhhh. Good day. Good night. Home tomorrow.

every cloud has a silver lining

Two fabulous things about the rainforest:

1. My hair looks amazing. And I've not even flat ironed it! Just travel size Pantene shampoo and conditioner - much cheaper than the beauty supply store stuff I've been using.

2. Due to my refusal to eat any more, due to what must be the largest rat ever (I saw the poo) I have no doubt dropped some pounds.

Its practically like coming to a spa!

Except for the whole toilet paper thing.

and my knight in shining armor came riding upon a white horse to rescue me

Not quite, but I did get the white horse.

The Pastor and I took a two hour horse ride through the rainforest this morning.

It was my idea - what a fabulous marital compromise. He got to be out in the nature, and I didn't have to worry about any snakes or lizards. The only thing I had to worry about was my cranky horse.

Here today and tomorrow and then off to San Jose. Nope, not California. San Jose, Costa Rica.

its a rainforest out there

Greetings from Costa Rica.

If you think I'm at some swanky tourist-y place, you are wrong.

It was a bumpy flight. I concentrated very hard at not throwing up.

From the plane, it was an even bumpier ride on a bus. For hours. The people on the bus went up and down, up and down, and round and round. I concentrated very hard on not throwing up.

Finally, the bumpy road ended. It was replaced with a mud slide. For hours. I concentrated very hard on not dying.

I made it. Probably not the most helpful thing that the girl who sat next to me at dinner on our first night was telling about how she had just been bit by a snake.

I later explained to the Pastor that I am not 1. a scientist or 2. a four-year old boy. I don't like snakes or bugs.

I've been on two long hikes with the Pastor. I've gotten much better at hiking. I found out that hiking is really just walking. Except when you hike there are bugs and lizards and giant piles of animal poo.

Why, after the first hike, did the Pastor find it necessary to mention that he had seen a snake on our hike, why????? On today's hike, I saw a giant black lizard. The Pastor, thinking it must have been another snake, tried to tell me it was a twig. I knew better. Also, something growled at me (it may have been the Pastor).

I am getting to at least sleep with the Pastor. We are in a room with two twin beds, pushed together. I think this is the third time in our marriage we've had to push the beds together.

The good news is I'll come home all ripped from this trip from the lack of food and all the hiking (those two times).

That's all for now. Oh, and I really, really miss flushing my toilet paper.

how to make coffee in 26 easy steps

1. Wake up. Where am I? Oh, I'm at home.

2. Think about going to Starbucks. No! How long has it been since I've had coffee at home? When was the last time I was at home???

3. No milk. After all, I haven't been at home. Throw on Victoria's Secret PINK hoodie, jeans and flip-flops.

4. Drive to store, secretly praying no one will see me in hoodie, jeans, bed head and last night's eye makeup. All the while, texting BFF.

5. Oh look - Easter candy 75% off! Limited edition!!! Mountain Dew for the Pastor!

6. Now what did I come to the store for?

7. Oh yes, milk! Get milk.

8. Those Easter Nerds Ropes were only 12 cents? They are practically giving them to me! Should I buy more?

9. Drive home.

10. Put coffee and water in coffee machine.

11. Wait, my steamer isn't working. How am I supposed to steam the milk?

12. Maybe the steamer is clogged. Get out vinegar to un-clog steaming apparatus.

13. Nope, doesn't work.

14. Spill vinegar all over the place.

15. Clean up. Vinegar smell reminds me I didn't dye Easter eggs with the kids. Feel guilty.

16. Take deep breath.

17. Its okay. I have a back-up coffee machine. Get out back-up coffee machine and its 82-page instruction booklet.

18. Think about waking up 12-year old to help decipher instruction booklet.

19. Pour water into machine.

20. Water immediately comes out of bottom of machine, all over freshly-clean-from-vinegar-spill counter.

21. Realize that is why I was able to purchase coffee machine #2 at such a fantastic price.

22. Clean up apocalypse from coffee maker #2.

23. Get in shower.

24. Get dressed.

25. Blog about coffee disaster.

26. Go to Starbucks.

b&b

The Pastor and I slept here last night:



http://www.innatwoodwardpark.com/

There were fresh cookies! And stuffed french toast this morning!

Does anyone have

a "Buber for Dummies" book?

Maybe the Pastor should write one.

I am, for what must be the millionth time, listening to the Pastor teach on Martin Buber.

I still don't get the "I-Thou" stuff.

playing catch

I can't explain why this is so funny to me. Actually, I can. I just can't tell you.

I must merely record the following quote from the Pastor for posterity:

"You do your thing, and I'll do mine, and when I'm ready I'll catch up with you."

That one sentence manages to perfectly sum up the past four years.

p.s. Pastor, thanks for proposing three years ago today!

places I've been in the past week

1. home
2. Phoenix, Arizona
3. Los Angeles, California
4. Beverly Hills, California
5. Santa Monica, California
6. Malibu, California
7. Hermosa Beach, California
8. Long Beach, California
9. Redondo Beach, California
10. Venice Beach, California
11. Indianapolis, Indiana
12. Kansas City, Kansas
13. home again, for about 5 seconds
14. Dallas, Texas

Will be home again today. Phew. Looking forward to spending a few days with a BFF!!!! : ) and then off to Tulsa, Oklahoma next weekend.

Princess of the White Castle

My fantastical imagination has been at work again.

The Pastor and I got re-routed home from Los Angeles, and ended up in Indianapolis.

Naturally, my first thought - this will be a bonus night with the Pastor in a hotel room in what must no doubt be the most romantic city on the planet!

I'd never been to Indianapolis before.

I started envisioning the Pastor and I - in a cold city, finding a way to stay warm together. Since we had no clothes but the shorts on our backs from our Cali trip (we left behind all our other clothes to donate) we would have to just hole up in our romantic hotel room, furnished to us by Southwest Airlines.

Reality. If we're in a city, we're going to go see it. Taxi cab downtown. I did find some jeans, so I didn't have to brave 34 degree weather in my madras. The nice romantic dinner? White Castle. We'd never been to one before.

The Pastor did say to me, over a bag of Sliders, that I was the prettiest girl at White Castle. I was also the only girl at White Castle, but I guess I'll take what I can get.

Los Angeles Mission Trip + Cali-fun

just like Malibu Barbie

How I was just like Malibu Barbie today -

Malibu Barbie would have been a do-gooder and would have made meals for terminally ill people with HIV & AIDS. She would have even worn a hair net (she probably has her own pink one.)

Malibu Barbie would have gone through the drive-thru of In-n-Out Burger. However, she would have been in a convertible and not a 15-passenger church van.

Malibu Barbie would have gone to Malibu Beach. She probably would have gotten to wash her hair afterwards though.

I'm too tired and lack the computer time to compare the Pastor to Malibu Ken.

Redon-dant

Sigh. I'm at the beach. Again.

I know. Its a rough life. Somebody had to do it. You are welcome.

Redondo Beach and Venice Beach this week.

Granted, in order to get to the beach, I've had to come on this mission trip, sort through rotting, expired food donations, buy a homeless man new underwear, only shower every other day for 5 minutes, sleep in a Pastor-less bunk bed and (once again) embrace the smell of public urination, but I'm at the beach!

And any day at the beach is better than just about any day anywhere else.

thank you Easter Bunny

my idea of an Easter Basket
www.coach.com

my idea of good Easter Basket filler
www.godiva.com

I don't do marshmallow peeps or those nasty candy hiding eggs. Ick. And absolutely, positively nothing hollow.

spring cleaning

I've been having a major "trash attack" at my house.

I have a very large pile of assorted junk, getting ready to take it to Goodwill.

Silly me. I didn't get rid of the pile fast enough. Silly me. I thought I'd keep adding to it. Silly me. I thought if we've not used an item since we moved into this Parsonage 15 months ago, then we probably don't need it.

Now the Pastor has picked through the pile. As soon as I saw him start to pick I knew what was going to happen.

I knew he would start waxing sentimental about those pots. Those two sauce pans. About how his parents bought those for him and that's what he cooked his food in blah blah blah. The two pots that aren't non stick and are old and ugly and have been sitting unused and taking up space in MY kitchen cabinets. Those two pots that we could give away and some homeless person could use.

I thought he wanted to be a minimalist! I thought he liked the idea of things being clean and organized - at least in theory. In practice, he's the tasmanian devil in this house - leaving pants and Birkenstocks and receipts and I Pods and reading glasses and palm pilots in his wake. Then when he next needs said pants and Birkenstocks and receipts and I Pods and reading glasses and palm pilots, naturally I have "hidden" it from him by putting it away. How dare I!

If he wants to journey down memory lane, maybe he should reflect on how he never has to cook for himself anymore. How he never has to eat Sloppy Joes or spaghetti anymore.

i think he'd rather have me than the two WearEver pots. After all, it was Flower Friday yesterday (flowers for me!) and I did get breakfast in bed this morning (a VENTI non-fat sugar-free vanilla Caramel Macchiato. I never buy myself a Venti, except on my birthday). But just in case, I guess I'd better put those pans back in the cabinet. Until next time. Or, until next week. When he goes out of town.

so much fondue

I ate the whole thing. Plus some of the Pastor's.

celebrating Leap Year

Why not? It only happens every four years!

baby corn

freaks me out

There's no baby corn in Mexican food.

I'm doing really good on Lent. That is, if you don't count today I'm doing really good on Lent.

I was going to blog something else, but between the treadmill and the computer (approximately three steps) I forgot what I was going to write. Exercise must not improve your memory.

I know why the caged bird shops

Turn, turn from sin and sorrow . . .

Two things I have learned thus far during Lent.

Turns out there is a reason I've spent so much time shopping.

Turns out I have nothing else to do.

And where to eat? Turns out I can't pick a non-Mexican restaurant to save my life. Therefore, you end up eating at IHOP.

this is the kind of stuff you do when you have given up shopping for Lent

Internet quizzes are almost as much fun as shopping. Cheaper too.

You Belong in 1966

You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too.

What Year Do You Belong In?

the 7 day itch

I'm having a hard day today.

I want to eat cupcakes and go to The Limited and buy a red dress. Or, I want to go buy the red dress, put it on and then eat the cupcakes. Very carefully, as to not get the dress dirty.

A red dress and cupcakes would definitely make me feel better.

cold hands, warm heart!

for the record

I gave up cupcakes for Lent. Those devil-ish cupcakes at Starbucks.

I did not give up giant pieces of chocolate cake from the cafe' with the twinkle lights the Pastor sometimes takes me to for dessert.

Pastor's dessert

my Valentine

Valentine Ball shoes

Numbers 26:10 ~ and the earth opened her mouth and swallowed them up together

Why God, Why?

Aren't you paying attention to how good I'm being during Lent? I've been doing everything I've said I would do. I haven't been doing the stuff I said I wouldn't do, and I've even felt a little guilty doing some stuff I didn't say I'd give up.

How could she do this to me?

I had a fabulous time at the Valentine's Ball. I ended up choosing from the three outfit contenders the white BCBG dress. It was absolutely my most favorite thing I have ever worn - and I've worn two wedding dresses! If I wasn't married, I would get married in that BCBG dress. Shoot,if I wasn't married, I'd marry that BCBG dress.

But when we got to the Ball, God decided to take me down a notch. I looked too good. I was too happy.

Out of all the dresses in all of the world, someone had on the same exact dress as me.

Not that God hadn't forewarned me properly. In my life, I've been to one other event at that particular country club. On that night, someone had on the same outfit as me. God was clearly trying to tell me, everytime you come to this place someone will be dressed exactly like you, and that will be your curse.

But back to the Valentine's Ball. I had two choices. I could avoid the girl all night (the Pastor did his best to make sure I didn't see her when she came in, but its hard to miss such a beautiful dress), or I could take the high-heeled road and go up to her and tell her how fantastic her dress was, well, because it was!

I went up to her and she said the best possible thing anyone could say in a situation like ours. She said "Robyn, just the other day, someone was telling me what great style you have." Well duh!

I still had a great night. Just that little minor detail. Oh, and someone called me by the ex-wife's name. But still, a wonderful night.

and on the first day

I made it through day 1. No nutella, no cupcake (Nate ate the last one in the fridge - I do have a stockpile in the deep freeze), no shopping, no mexican food!!!

And between abs, eliptical machine and treadmill - I exercised for one hour and fifteen minutes.

Could I have been any more perfect? As a matter of fact, yes! I sold two dresses which completely justifies all the new clothing I purchased (before lent!) to wear to the Valentine's ball tonight. I don't know which outfit I'm wearing. There are three or four contenders. I also gave myself a manicure, saving the Pastor $15.00!

check engine

Fat Tuesday, Ash Wednesday and Chinese New Year - what an exciting week.

Fat Tuesday lived up to its name - with mexican food and a cupcake, I did what I could. Chinese New Year - don't even think about trying to get a mani/pedi on Thursday. Ash Wednesday - they put the ashes on with baby oil. I asked the Pastor if it was my imagination, or did my forehead smell like a baby??? Turns out he doesn't like the smell of baby oil. What kind of monster doesn't like that smell? Of course, I am a female and apparently genetically coded to think baby oil smells good.

I've been thinking about what to give up, or what to take up for Lent this year.

I'm far from perfect, but I have already switched to decaf, don't eat meat/chicken/pork/eggs, don't drink milk and for two years have been driving an $800 car with damage on every single spot you could possibly damage on a car and a check engine light that's been on the entire time we've owned it. Guess those check engine lights don't mean a whole lot huh? Anyway, without the caffeine and the meat and all, what else is left? Actually, quite a bit.

Here's what I've decided to do
-chose kindness
-no cupcakes
-no mexican food
-exercise one hour each day
-no shopping for clothes, purses or shoes
-no Nutella

for a limited time only!!!

I think "for a limited time only" is perhaps the scariest phrase ever.

Chocolate cherry diet Dr. Pepper anyone?

For a limited time only!

Cupcakes at Starbucks anyone?

For a limited time only!

Don't even get me started on whipped peanut butter.

Only really cool stuff is for a limited time only. You can pretty much guarantee if something sucks, it will be around forever. Like acne, ex wives, wrinkles, etc.

That phrase makes me want to stockpile (is that one word or two? I don't care enough to look it up) an emergency supply. And I never stockpile. I was one of those people who didn't care about Y2K. My concerned brother (as opposed to my unconcerned brother) brought me an oil lamp about a week before Y2K, in case the world ended. I could have cared less and the world didn't end.

And if the world ever ends, I can guarantee you I wouldn't care about light from an oil lamp as much as I would cupcakes and chocolate cherry diet Dr. Pepper. When the time comes, I will have one heck of a par-tay, seeings how I would have to eat all the cupcakes thawing from a deep freeze with no electricity. Don't come over; I won't share.

you're welcome

If you feel better about the state of the union today, you can thank me.

I'm temping. Contributing to the economy. Playing office.

Technically, this will probably only affect you directly if you have Starbucks stock. There happens to be a Starbucks conveniently located next to the temp agency where I temp.

But that's not the only reason I like to temp. I also like the Barista (I'm probably old enough to be his mother) who fawns over me. Granted, he probably treats all customers the same, but I don't know that and for three minutes of the day I feel special.

Plus the temp agency loves me, appreciates me, begs for me to come back and can't get enough of me (yet). The foundation of any good relationship in my opinion.

Most important, I actually have a valid reason to dress up.

I'm sorry people died.

I truly am.

But I'm still alive.

And what is life without Peter Pan Whipped Peanut Butter?

I want my whipped peanut butter back. Please.

Thank you.

holy moly

For your convenience, here is a Holy Land trip summary:

-My jar of Nutella made it through airport security.

-You ride the bus/walk to a site with old rocks and an old church. The church is probably built over an old cave. You ask the Pastor was Jesus really here or does this just commemorate Jesus. Peddlers ask you to buy ten postcards for a dollar. You ride the bus/walk to the next site with old rocks and an old church, repeat.

-Hummus.

-Pita.

-I like Hummus and Pita. But I don't care what anyone says. Its not for breakfast. Nutella!

-Falafel. I ate food prepared by street vendors, on the same street where you can find live chickens on one side of a store and roasting chickens on the other. And butchered cows hanging everywhere. But when you get back to the States, all Customs cares about is if you went to a farm. Hmmmm.

-I'm still trying to figure out how those Jewish guys get their curls so tight.

-Was it wrong of me, at the Wailing Wall, to think that girl's shoes are really cute? They were.

-I ate the best bagel I've ever had in my life in the Jewish Quarter.

-Herod didn't just hate little babies and Jesus. Two and a half years ago, the Pastor sprained his ankle hiking at Masada. On this trip, I fell on my knee hiking at Masada. Ouch.

-A shekel is worth something like a quarter. But by the time you go back and forth between Jerusalem where they have shekels and Jordan where they have jd's, you'll be so confused about converting and doing math and bartering when you just want to buy a diet coke that you just hold your coins out and let the shopkeeper take whatever they want. Then you give the rest to a Bedouin sheep farmer's kid in exchange for a hand-beaded bracelet.

-Jesus apparently didn't stress the need for hot showers and extreme water pressure in his homeland.

-If you find Pashminas for $10, buy more than one. I am a fashion victim in any country.

-On the flight home, the Pastor read some book about the Psalms. I read Allure and Us Magazine.

-A very friendly Egyptian man hit on me twice in front of the Pastor. I think the Pastor was contemplating how many camels he could trade me for. I'm sure he quickly realized I'm worth a lot of camels, and they would be messy to clean up after, especially without me around.

-Its apparently acceptable for ground crew to decide they are just not going to unload luggage because its too cold outside. Therefore, after we missed our connecting flight sitting in Customs waiting for luggage, we got a bonus night in Chicago courtesy of Royal Jordanian Air. Furthermore, in the Middle East I witnessed kindness, graciousness, and generosity. It wasn't until I returned to America I saw the real terrorists, and they were all working behind an airline counter where they still apparently use a paper-based system to handle flight re-bookings and hotel vouchers.

-I've been home for a day and I've plucked my own eyebrows, given myself a mani/pedi and a facial with my Dead Sea mud mask. Its good to do the do-it-yourself beauty after you get home from international travel - because sometimes Pastors don't understand spending money on such things immediately after he has spent money to take you several time zones away. I am going to get my hair done tomorrow - there are some lines I won't cross. I also put my heels back on today. Yes my knee hurts, but I couldn't let Herod get the best of me.

away in a manger

I am in Bethlehem.

I have not had access to a computer or phone, so I miss everyone.

But baby Jesus stuff is nice too.

Be home Saturday, really more like Sunday.

Be at the mexican restaurant on Sunday.

Jacob wrestled with God and got a new name (Genesis 32)

I wrestled with my tote bag and pulled a muscle. I didn't even really wrestle with it. It was more like I bent over to pick it up.

It only hurts when I turn my neck in any direction. Like when I'm sightseeing.

We went to the Jabbok River today and saw some ancient ruins (big, old rocks). I also got a cappucino at Dunkin Donuts - that is, it had all Dunkin Donuts stuff, except its called Donut Palace or something like that. In the place where Jacob wrestled by the river, I'm not sure why they would have issues with dunkin.

In Jordan.

The guide who met us at the airport - his name was Jihad. I'm not sure how it was spelled, but it was pronounced Jihad.

And the guy who served us dinner was Mohammed Ali.

I switched to decaf

and apparently that means you fall asleep at 8:30, wake up at 1 a.m. for a bit and consider blogging but fall back asleep until you are wide awake again at 5:30.

If this is decaf life, I'm not sure I want any part of it.

But we are going to Israel this week, and I didn't want my body to be all strung out like it normally is, desperately searching for coffee. I'm going to do this scientific experiment to see if this makes jet lag, etc. on international travel less of an issue.

Wedding yesterday, i.e., four pieces of cake yesterday. It was their fault. Each layer was a different flavor which is really just wrong. Wrong wrong wrong! I felt jilted after I got carrot cake. Who wants carrot cake at a wedding? I had to see what the other layers were. Still, I feel cheated because I did not get strawberry. I would have rather had strawberry than carrot.

Also, I feel cheated because I wore a certain fabulous dress again (outfit repeater!) and the Pastor still didn't take a picture.

Off to make my decaf latte. And get dressed for church. Maybe if I quit blogging and actually get dressed, I won't be late for church, and the Pastor and I can have a happy sabbath.

Happy New Year

from me and Big Bird's evil twin

feather boas

itch, in case you didn't know

Can you believe

I wore something I already had.

Sorry the coat covers the dress, but it was cold.

Yes, Christmas is over

but I didn't want you to miss this dress/boots.